lamps

isn’t clitoris the guy who flew too close to the sun?

I ate the pigeon

saw a dead pigeon on the ground... reminded me to live every day like it’s my last and also eat stuff off the ground

crouching unc hidden auntie

walking around walmart without a gun and now I got gomo

“let’s get this fit pic off in front of an open garage”

hometown couples look for the ugliest backdrop possible to take a poorly lit thanksgiving picture in front of

want to start an improv group called slipknut but nobody wants to do improv with me (the name isn’t the problem)

love when steve starts cooking and says posting schedule be damned

going to see geese tonight and am hoping gen z will respect a senior citizen (32) just trying to enjoy a pilsner in the back

gettin pussy at toyotathon

if you ain’t indigenous get tf out my bigenous

we need croc guardian caps with jibbitz on the helmets

tmz office looks fun everyone’s standing and shooting the shit all day

british dudes be having the ugliest calf tats you’ve ever seen

keep that shit professional, man

this is why I only cheat on MY wife AT work

bieber should’ve just let mkgee sing the songs too

my girlfriend just showed me her work husband’s LinkedIn… I’m so cooked

hell yea we fuckin do

White people be like I have Pet Sounds on vinyl