Lee Allred

American-sized! #ThreeGuessesWhatImGrillingForDinner #SteakPapa

Just because the egg is lying on the ground, it doesn't mean you can just pick it up and walk off with it. #GrandTheftEasterEgg #HopCop

♫ ウェストバージニア ♫ 山のママ #Uesutobaajinia #YamaNoMama

Sunday Sleep-In: Who Needs a Futon When You've Got Teddy Edition. #SundaySleepIn

@David_JWest It's part of the 2025 American Women quarters set. usmint.gov/news/press-rel…

I️ found a quarter on the ground and I flip it over and look and I'm like what state is a tennis player?

@David_JWest @DavidJohnButler The Porter Rockwell and Captain Nemo one? Knowing you, you probably just bought it for the Frazetta cover. :) :) :)

@lee_allred @DavidJohnButler But I really enjoyed 'God in Red!'

Don't ask AIs for advice; they just tell you what you want to hear. arstechnica.com/science/2026/0…

@DavidJohnButler Thanks! Unfortunately, when I went to buy them I found out Amazon doesn't stock copies. :( #GreatlyDisappointed

@lee_allred Congratulations!

Don't be alarmed! I've come to give you some good advice! Drink more Ovaltine! #DrinkMoreOvaltine #ACrummyCommercial?!? #SuperheroingIsntCheap #ProductPlacementIsAMust #ThisCrisisOninfiniteEarthsBroughtToYouByPepsi

@blambot Blanket-wrap Ace is best Ace. Just don't forget he's there when you toss it the washer! #DontEverChangeAce

Ace in your face Friday

Lee's not here. It's just me and Teddy this morning. #RunningErrands #NoLameMorningJoke #Sorry #ArtWorldFailsToSuffer

Don't you jus hate it when the Nogos steal your dinosaur idea? I sure do. #IsNothingSacred #IllHaveYouKnowIHaveThePatentOnDinosaurIdeas #YouCanDoAnythingIfYouTryceratops

I've been asked why I didn't post the Elton vocals for today's #WritingMusic. I was trying to spare you. Because when you get the Elton vocals, you get the Elton intro dance. #DontSayIDidntWarnYou youtu.be/Rn-i44P7azU

Today's sing-along #WritingMusic is a commentary on Lee's social media strategy. ♫ Twitter don't want you ♫ Substack don't need you ♫ Give up those lame jokes, baby ♫ Twitter can't buy you likes #UhLee? #YoureMakingThingsUpAgain #LeeLyrics youtu.be/AuBLPpaSArk

@NancyEFrye Why don't you dig how beautiful it is in here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? #WeAreTalkingAboutLeesLameJokes #Oh #InThatCaseNegativeWavesAllYouWantBaby

There's only one way to deal with Lee's lame jokes. I suggest larger calibers, though, so they don't get back up after you empty the magazine into them. #StoppingPower #MaybeUseSilverBulletsToo #TakingLeesJokesBehindTheBarnLikeOldYeller #ImStartingToThinkPeopleDontLikeMyJokes

The path of world domination is set not in underground bunkers or military command posts, but in comfty chairs after a full-body lick and a bowl of kibble.

@raconteur_press I tried telling people vegetables were the enemy, but did they listen? No! They kept piling them on my hamburgers! #VegetablesAreWhatFoodEats

@David_JWest Back before they outlawed fishing with dynamite.

German UB III submarines, washed ashore, 1921

Random "give it your best!" beam. #EverybodyCouldUseALittleCheeringOn #がんばってね