Colorful Metaphor

Are animal crackers okay on a plant-based diet?

Windows Update thrashing VM again. Downloading updates or mining Bitcoin?

Local man builds two-story house out of EOB statements.

... kimchi, sauerkraut, and other forms of weaponized cabbage.

What gauge needle do they use for jello shots?

This morning found wife had filled the jar with apricots instead of apricots.

Toilet installed and leak tested. Should be good to go, so to speak.

OK. I can take a hint. Going back to cutting tile.

Bag of mortar contains compound known to state of California as a carcinogen. Relieved to be using it in Indiana instead.

@infinitetape see today's Google doodle

@Bad_Elephant is there a DHB drop drinking game yet?

DVR just asked if it could preempt the game in order to record a Masterpiece Theater rerun. Yep, even the DVR couldn't take it any more.

Beer and lasers. Glad to see this kind of research funded. youtube.com/watch?v=So7lp2…

Can't believe the ref didn't catch that ball, it was right to him.

Refactoring power tool: rm -rf

Hearing "bone on bone schedule" loudly and repeatedly. Want a giant fossilised femur to smite nearby frontal, occipital, and temporal bones.

@lert card -> cars

Epiphany: my wife sees card the way I see flowers (i. e., there are blue ones and yellow ones, etc.).

Forget flying cars, why don't we have waffle irons that text when ready? #slavetowafflelight

To clarify, last tweet has nothing to do with those of us still in cubes and everything to do with the commotion right beside my new cube.