Johan

why jordan peterson believes "how do i find the love of my life" is a stupid question "I got asked that three times in a row and I didn't have a good answer. And then I thought, why don't I have a good answer? I thought, oh, I know why, 'cause that's a stupid question." "It's putting the cart before the horse. Here's the right question. How do I make myself into the perfect date?" "If I offered everything I could to a partner, who would I be? You work on that." "Okay. What do they want? Clean. That's not a bad start. Reasonably good physical shape. So healthy, productive, generous, honest, willing to delay gratification." "The harder you work on offering other people what they need and want, the more people will line up to play with you." "Then you think, well, if I do that, people will just take advantage of me. And that's why you're supposed to be as soft as a dove and as wise as a serpent." "I know you're full of snakes. I know it. Maybe I know it more than you do, but we'll play anyways." "Even though the person you're dealing with is full of snakes, if you offer your hand in trust and it's real, you will evoke the best in them." "Even under those circumstances, if you step carefully enough, maybe you can avoid the ax. That's a good thing to know if you ever meet someone truly dangerous."

ft. @joerogan @MikeTyson

Joe Rogan asked Mike Tyson why he still wants to fight at 54. The answer wasn't about money, legacy, or proving anyone wrong. He admits the thing most fighters never say out loud. Tyson: "Sometimes I struggle with the fact that there's the possibility I can really hurt somebody." Rogan assumed that meant guilt. That he didn't want to hurt them. It's the opposite. Tyson: "That is... sometimes it's orgasmic." Not fear. Not nerves. Something closer to pleasure. He can't even fully explain it himself, so he turns the question back on Rogan. Tyson: "What does it mean when fighting gets you erect? What does that mean?" And then he lands on the real thing driving him back into the ring. It isn't the winning. It isn't the crowd. Tyson: "Maybe not fear-based, but embracing the fact that you're gonna go into this with everything you have, the chaos of it all, and the ultimate goal is to hurt somebody." That's the part that separates him. Most people fight to win. Tyson fights for the chaos. The hurting isn't a side effect of the goal. It is the goal.

Chris Evans on the price of playing someone the audience despises Scarlett Johansson: "No matter who you're playing, you need to find some empathy for it. Could you find empathy for that person?" Chris Evans: "Oh, trust me. No villain thinks they're the villain." "I had a drama teacher in high school who told me he saw a performance of Othello somewhere in Texas in the 70s, and someone in the audience stood up, and shot Diego, shot him. He survived, but in the hospital he said it was the greatest compliment he had ever received." "So getting those reactions from the audience, it shows you're doing your job well." "It's so liberating, and wonderful to be on a stage, but you really do long for that kind of shared, emotional conflict that we all go through. And my character was so detached from any sort of morality." "Over time it just starts to feel... It weighs on you."

Jim Rohn on why most people never live the life they actually want: 1. Get crystal clear or stay stuck. most people say they want success, money, freedom. too vague. general goals give you general results. an architect draws the whole blueprint before one brick goes down. your life deserves the same. write it down. put a deadline on it. confusion is the real thing blocking you, not lack of talent. 2. ask. out loud. most opportunities die because nobody asked. people stay silent out of fear of looking stupid. but every successful person has heard no more times than you have. they just kept asking. the worst answer is no. the best answer could change your entire life. 3. get ready before the opportunity shows up. people pray for bigger chances while ignoring the work those chances require. imagine your dream job lands tomorrow. are your skills actually enough? preparation is invisible. nobody sees you reading, training, building habits. but the payoff becomes visible to everyone. 4. dream bigger than your situation, but plan smaller than your dream. belief keeps you going when it gets hard. planning keeps you from wasting energy. break the big goal into monthly, then weekly, then today. big dreams get done in small boring steps. 5. raise your standards. your life reflects what you're willing to settle for. settle for less and life hands you exactly that. most people put a ceiling on themselves before reality ever does. they decide it's impossible before they've genuinely tried. 6. motivation is a liar. it comes and goes. discipline stays. stop waiting to feel ready. read 10 pages. move 30 minutes. make one call. these look pointless day to day. months later they look like a different life. someone improving 1% a day beats someone waiting for perfect conditions. 7. success isn't reaching the thing. it's becoming someone who can stay there. the moment you stop growing, it starts slipping. stay curious. take the feedback. and keep your character stronger than your ego. 8. gratitude isn't soft. it's what keeps you steady when results take longer than you expected. every setback builds strength. every delay builds patience. the people who last aren't the most talented. they're just the ones emotionally strong enough to keep going when it's slow.

Matthew McConaughey on why studying the people you admire is keeping you stuck. "Everybody who's achieved something great was some sort of outlaw. Some sort of hustler. Out of balance, out of whack, dark times." "Model the rise not the result. Because the result is where they're at now. Do not ask Warren Buffett about how long he spends reading the newspaper. That guy was a hustler." "What did you do when you were at the stage that I am at? Not what do you do now? I want to get to where you are. That means I don't do what you do now. I do what you did to get there." "We do overpraise balance a bit. I think a better pursuit is try and find the rhyme in the imbalance." "What's better? Take eight big risk in life, sin once, but get seven. Or take a hundred risks and achieve eight of them. My hunch is there's a God saying go for the hundred and get eight rather than eight and get seven." "If you're not taking enough risk to sin or miss the mark, which is what sin means, to fail, then what are you doing, man?" "If you fail you chop your leg off and announce that the desire for legs is misguided and must be subdued. By not trying to play the game there is no risk of failure." "If failure comes along, it doesn't hurt as much. But it also means that success is less likely. And if success comes along, you know that you didn't really earn it."

ft. @McConaughey @ChrisWillx

Matthew McConaughey on the price of being someone you admire. "You don't know what the texture of that person's mind's like when they go to bed at night. They might not have spoken to their father in 5 years. They might never feel peace. They might hate themselves. Might not be able to get an erection. You want that. You really want that. But you want the outside success." "The price that people pay to be somebody that you admire is one of the most fascinating questions I think." "So many people have the renter's mentality. Relationships, businesses, transactional, you flip it, get it, flip it. They never give the house a chance to actually maybe become a home." "Have you ever hired someone that you were like probably just need you for a few months? I have only hired people that I was like I'm hoping this is going to be a lifer." "You become their CEO and they fire you and hammer you. See it in politics and they drag you through the mud and like dude that's just how it is. It's just business. It's just politics. I'm like hang on a minute." "You do what's expedient or successful. You betray a lot of people, a lot of ideals, including yourself. That doesn't sound like very much fun to me." "Where have I sacrificed my own character to get ahead so then to be perceived as? And I know I've done it many times."

Jeff Bezos told his parents there was a 70% chance they'd lose everything. They invested anyway. "I told them that I thought there was a 70% chance that they would lose their whole investment, which was a few hundred thousand dollars... and they did it anyway. My dad's first question was, what's the internet?" "When we launched that store in July of 1995 we were shocked at the customer response. In the first 30 days we had orders from all 50 states and 45 different countries and we were woefully unprepared from an operational point of view to handle that kind of volume." "We were packing on our hands and knees on a hard concrete floor, and I had this brainstorm. I said to the person next to me, this packing is killing my knees... you know what we need? We need knee pads. And this person looked at me like I was the stupidest person they'd ever seen, and said, what we need is packing tables. I thought that was the smartest idea I had ever heard." "That early stage of Amazon, where we were so unprepared, is probably one of the luckiest things that ever happened to us, because it formed a culture of customer service in every single person in the company. That is our goal... to be earth's most customer-centric company." "Startup companies need early planetary alignment, because there are so many things that can go wrong." "It's very important for entrepreneurs to be realistic. If you believe on that first day that there's a 70% chance the whole thing will fail, that relieves the pressure of self-doubt." "As a company gets bigger it starts to become more stable... it needs a lot less luck, and instead it needs the hard work. And at that point there's a little bit more pressure, because then if you fail, you have nobody to blame but yourself."

Ft @ChrisWillx @McConaughey

Ft @JeffBezos

why jordan peterson believes "how do i find the love of my life" is a stupid question "I got asked that three times in a row and I didn't have a good answer. And then I thought, why don't I have a good answer? I thought, oh, I know why, 'cause that's a stupid question." "It's putting the cart before the horse. Here's the right question. How do I make myself into the perfect date?" "If I offered everything I could to a partner, who would I be? You work on that." "Okay. What do they want? Clean. That's not a bad start. Reasonably good physical shape. So healthy, productive, generous, honest, willing to delay gratification." "The harder you work on offering other people what they need and want, the more people will line up to play with you." "Then you think, well, if I do that, people will just take advantage of me. And that's why you're supposed to be as soft as a dove and as wise as a serpent." "I know you're full of snakes. I know it. Maybe I know it more than you do, but we'll play anyways." "Even though the person you're dealing with is full of snakes, if you offer your hand in trust and it's real, you will evoke the best in them." "Even under those circumstances, if you step carefully enough, maybe you can avoid the ax. That's a good thing to know if you ever meet someone truly dangerous."

jordan peterson explains why you'll never find happiness by chasing it "people say they want to be happy. that's not true." "they're actually more concerned about avoiding the catastrophic negative than living in a world of hedonistic delight." "when do you experience the positive emotion that's associated with happiness? not when you've attained a goal, but when you're pursuing one." "no goal, no positive emotion." "no goal not only means no positive emotion. it also means confusion. and confusion means anxiety and dread." "a life without a goal is confusing and hopeless." "you're afraid of making a change? fine. how afraid are you of not making a change?" "you're stuck where you are, but it's 10 years from now. you're 10 years older, 10 years more bitter, 10 years more cynical. maybe by that time your marriage has collapsed, because who the hell wants to live with you?" "if you can't get out of that situation now, what the hell makes you think you're going to get out of it in 10 years?" "it's really useful to know what your own particular brand of hell might be." "then you have your negative emotion working for you and your positive emotion working for you. and that's a great gradient." "cocaine is such a powerful drug because it makes you feel like you're doing something worthwhile. that's the system it hyperactivates." "it's the fact that the goal beckons to you that makes you say: i want to do that."

ft. @jordanbpeterson @lexfridman

Jordan Peterson on what scares him more than death "You know, I was ready to die a year ago. And not casually. I had people I loved. So no, I'm not very worried about me, but I am very worried about making a mistake." "Do I fear I've become a Jordan Peterson impersonator? I think I worry about it more than anything else. I hope. I hope I do. I better." "Has fame corrupted me? No doubt. In some regard. It's a very difficult thing to avoid, because things change around you." "Not if the red carpet is rolled out to you while you're on your way to perdition. That's not a good deal. You just get there more efficiently." "If you gaze into the abyss long enough, you see the light, not the darkness. I'm betting my life on it." "The angel of death sits on every word." "I'd wake up every morning. Time short, get at it. Time short, get at it. There's things to do." "I heard Elon Musk talk about that a couple of months ago. Someone asked him about death and he said just offhand, 'That'd be a relief.' And then he went on with the conversation." "I'm more afraid of hell than death. I don't know if it follows or if it's always here. And I think we're gonna find out." "You're more likely to die terribly if you live in a manner that brings you to hell. That's one connection."

Ft. @jordanbpeterson @lexfridman