𝑺𝒏𝒐𝒐

He wanted a fight, he got one

@popup_tddy You said it all right 😂

Running out of weed will make you sad but running out of rolling papers when you have weed will piss you off

I over drink on the 4th of July and I’m still recovering days later 😩 Weed is legit amazing for hangovers, but I really need to stay away from the booze. Weed is just so much more user-friendly….

3 v 1 and she still comes out on top! #fights

Every fucking morning my neighbor goes off on her kids. She’s screaming at them, calling them pieces of shit, and I’m done. So I went outside and said, “Yo… what if every morning you woke up and someone immediately went the fuck off on you? Then you had to drag your ass to school and try to pay attention. You probably wouldn’t, right? Then you complain that your kids aren’t doing well in school, but you’re creating an environment where they leave the house full of anxiety.”

choose yourself first and watch how peacefully your life begins to flow

In just a few minutes, I'll be celebrating another year of life. Thank you to everyone who's been part of my journey. Cheers to new beginnings, answered prayers, and unforgettable memories. 🎉🎈

Just curious 😄—how old were you when you first started smoking weed? 🚬

in glock i trust

Cockblocking implies the existence of cockparrying with frame-perfect timing.

Went to take a drug test. The lady asked what perfume I had on. I told her. She says “Yeahhhh I have to get some of that girl. You covering up the weed smell like nobody’s business” Me : Fake appalled

Police Officer: “Why is there a man sleeping inside your washing machine?” Homeowner: “He’s not sleeping.” Police Officer: “His eyes are closed.” Homeowner: “He’s hiding.” Police Officer: “From what?” Homeowner: “The landlord.” Police Officer: “Why would someone hide from a landlord in a washing machine?” Man: “Because he checks the closets.” Police Officer: “How long have you been in there?” Man: “Since Monday.” Police Officer: “Today is Thursday.” Man: “The spin cycle was rough.” Homeowner: “I told him not to get in.” Man: “You said the landlord was coming.” Homeowner: “I said he was coming next week.” Man: “Details.” Police Officer: “Why are you hiding from the landlord?” Man: “I owe rent.” Police Officer: “How much?” Man: “Three months.” Homeowner: “Six.” Man: “I was rounding down.” Police Officer: “Why don’t you just talk to him?” Man: “Because he has questions.” Police Officer: “Reasonable questions?” Man: “Aggressive questions.” Landlord: “Like where my refrigerator went?” Police Officer: “Ah.” Man: “That one.” Homeowner: “He didn’t steal your refrigerator.” Landlord: “Then why was it found in the laundry room?” Police Officer: “Why was it in the laundry room?” Man: “It was helping.” Police Officer: “Refrigerators don’t help with laundry.” Man: “This one did.” Landlord: “It was plugged into the washing machine.” Police Officer: “Why?” Man: “To keep the clothes cold.” Police Officer: “…” Homeowner: “He thought it would prevent shrinking.” Man: “It made sense at the time.” Police Officer: “Nothing about this makes sense.” Landlord: “There’s more.” Police Officer: “Of course there is.” Landlord: “The washing machine isn’t his.” Homeowner: “What?” Landlord: “It belongs to the apartment upstairs.” Man: “That explains the knocking.” Police Officer: “You stole a washing machine to hide from a landlord who was looking for a refrigerator you moved to help the washing machine.” Man: “When you say it like that—” Police Officer: “There is no other way to say it.” Nurse: “Excuse me.” Police Officer: “Why is there a nurse here?” Nurse: “Because the washing machine is in labor.” Police Officer: “The washing machine is what?” Homeowner: “It started making noises.” Man: “I think the refrigerator is the father.” Police Officer: “I’m leaving.” Landlord: “Can I have my appliances back?” Washing Machine: “Ding.” Nurse: “Congratulations. It’s a blender.” Police Officer: “I quit.”

Just because they showed up doesn't mean they got your back, get your blunt and get high alone. Don't trust anyone Judas attended every prayers meeting but still betrayed Jesus.

Pre-rolls are overrated. Roll your own

He got slammed badly

A guy tried to set expectations on our first date. "I don't want anything serious." I replied, "Perfect. I wasn't looking at you as a serious option either." Somehow, that hurt his feelings.

Texas is so confusing, so if weed is illegal here, why do smoke shop be selling em like if they're a dispensary 🤨 just letting anybody walk in and buying it as if its legal.. lol

If niggas weren’t so lustful, this bitches will realize they average

I took 2 500 mg THC weed an hour ago and it's only getting worse. What do I do to get rid of it? I'm super stoned

Everyone assumed Ethan was a player. 6'2", sharp jawline, kind smile, the type of guy strangers remembered after seeing him once. Women flirted with him everywhere coffee shops, bookstores, even at the pharmacy. But at 29, he'd never had a girlfriend. Not one.