xavi

@AMPexclusive Yo agent is literally perry the platypus at this point 😂 doing anything, anywhere at any given time.

DUKE TRYNA PULL UP TO THE AMAZON RAINFOREST AND SAVE AGENT 😭😭

@nerinatita I'd like to get to know it 😭 overnight me some

Nobody in America Knows This Food

@chefsevenn Kris Jenner would f*¢k this fridge

What’s your first thought when you open this fridge?

@Lemonsqueeziese @esaagar Irrelevant to the whole damn post, A+ on the use of free will though

@lilCadejo @esaagar Cocaine comes from “the earth itself”

The smell of weed is the smell of death. The pungent odor of civilizational decay Normalizing it is normalizing decline itself

Betrayal never comes from enemies; it comes from those you trusted the most 💔

@BioBite_ A sauce not from scratch and mixing 2 different types of tomatoes (the sauce and the baby tomatoes) and pre shredded cheese tells me you've never been to italy

I learned this in italy.

A young man who travels the world will be wiser than an old man who never leaves his small city.

@Breaking911 The last call of duty I ever played had "bee swarms" as a weapon of war. I rage quitted and never played again. Let me find out Iran is improvising...

Tens of thousands of bees have suddenly swarmed across parts of Israel, prompting authorities to warn residents and shop owners to keep doors and windows closed.

💀

—Nizar Qabbani·

Sneako gets knocked out, Johnny Somali goes to labor camp, Clavicular OD's. Kick's brand is essentially San Francisco street walkers at this point.

What a great UTURN……Listen to Saudi Arabia’s position today: “We can no longer stand with Trump; Trump should first save himself, then save us. Saudi Arabia's major announcement.” For the first time in over 80 years, the Saudis say NO to the U.S.. I call it Saudi Arabia’s Uturn of the century.

Now I understand why older people are calmer… after you’ve died enough times inside, you learn to breathe, let go, and simply be.

@Kgadi_yaMoloto What if this happens off only 2 shots 🫥

Random fact: Do you know vomiting after drinking alcohol it’s your body preventing you from dying of alcohol poisoning.

“Las emociones humanas son únicas, el pico de la felicidad es llorar, el pico de la tristeza es reír y el pico de la ira es el silencio.”

@Dboysback65 "shorty kinda bad" *bookmark*

You can literally post a picture of your grandma on here, and someone will bookmark the picture 😭

@Syraavibes I thought I was gonna be a street thug flexing on here to my 2 followers but I never blew up and shit got embarrassing and now I cant change my username from the app and I'm too damn lazy to log in from a web browser so it's kina me at this point

Explain your username.

@BowTiedYukon Imagine if there were factories in China that make "skimmers" for these just as much as they do credit card skimmers... I can't be the only one who checks tf out of these things to make sure it's not a fake faceplate with a camera in it 😂😂😂

The CIA is absolutely making a dick database with these things

@TMZ "Good evening my fellow Americans, first off id like to give a Uuuugggeee shout-out to doordash for sponsoring this address the nation briefing. Okaaay? We love doordash. Nobody knows more about doordashing than me"

Trump gets a McDonald's DoorDash order before talking to the media about Iran. 🍟 Credit: C-SPAN