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I grew up in a dark place. I love my family and I’m grateful for the lessons I learned but I suffered a lot along the way. When I was in high school I saw a Craigslist ad of a farm looking to get rid of some puppies. I drove 2 hours in my beat up Acura and with my money saved from my retail job I bought my best friend. I named him Swift. He became a light that I never knew I could have.
I didn’t know what true love was before him. I had never had the chance to witness it. But I quickly learned the definition because of him. He held me thru breakups and hard ships. He held me when I lost my mom. He held me when I lost my identity. He held me when I couldn’t get up. Some struggles I’ve faced over the years made me wonder if I should be alive or if I should let myself go. But I always had a tether holding me. My beautiful boy who loved me unconditionally in a way that kept me here. Some days I didn’t even have it in me to get out of bed and Swift would remind me it’s time to get up. I have never loved anyone or anything the way I love Swift.
For 15 years he was the light of my life. The reason for my world. And now he’s not here. I don’t know how I’m going to survive.
For 15 years he was the first thing I saw in the morning and the last thing I saw before falling asleep.
When we would go for walks he wouldn’t watch the path he would turn back and constantly make sure I was still with him. What he didn’t know is I needed him as much as he needed me.
To say I’m heart broken is an understatement. I’m shattered down to my core. The only consistent love I’ve ever had in my life is gone. I would move mountains for Swift, and I promise I fucking tried. I’ve lost a part of my soul with him.
I wish I could do more. I wish I got more. I would give anything in the world right now to have him next to me. I’ve experienced a lot of grief in my life but this is a rare kind. I’ve loved Swift more than I loved myself on numerous occasions. I would do it all again. Every appointment, every cancelled plan, every adjustment in my schedule to make sure he got what he needed. I love that dog more than I love life itself. I hope he knows that. Thank you all for loving him too.
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