Abraham Lincoln

Some 30-year-old just called me “that dude from Bill and Ted.” If my ass weren’t cemented to this chair …

Where are all these children getting ice cream? Their sticky fingers are ruining my clean columns.

Dear gawd – do any of these Kentucky visitors have hotels with showers?

I can't believe Jefferson got a bigger pool than me.

there's a concert at me today: http://tinyurl.com/lincolnconcert