lisaburton

681 posts

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lisaburton

lisaburton

@lisaburton

Katılım Ekim 2008
386 Takip Edilen334 Takipçiler
lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
When I die, I want my measurements posted the way they do for babies. "Well, folks, she's gone. Lisa Burton, 5'4" 190lbs."
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
@tlrsmpls slowly the game allows you to realize you are the killer.
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Tyler Samples
Tyler Samples@tlrsmpls·
This would be the perfect game. As townspeople are killed off, you lose access to their services. The general store owner dies. You can no longer buy supplies, you have to make things yourself. Eventually you are the only one left, alone, struggling to survive. Perfect
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lisaburton retweetledi
Sara K. Runnels
Sara K. Runnels@omgskr·
My ideal summer body is one that I have complete control over
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
You ever felt like a bigshot so for a $25 upcharge you get the Flouride treatment?
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
Just imagine being a salmon doing your thing and the next instant you have a sharp pain in your back and sides, you can't breathe, and you're 10 feet above where you were just a second ago. #pandemiclife
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
I wanna be "the ring guy" on the @BachelorABC or @BacheloretteABC because it's v chill and you still get to travel to all the places. LMK if you need a resume, I can carry a briefcase super good.
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
Middleaged midwestern women are so repressed and pitted against one another that Rick Steves is more relatable than a female host would be to them.
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
Make the day as boring as you want and don't look back because there's always tomorrow too. And the next day. #YOL
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
I've really been reinventing myself as someone who cries a lot.
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
If we are going to be wearing masks forever, how long before movies/tv reflect our new reality? Like, we better start taking eye acting classes.
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
Summary of my feelings about this week.
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
Is "fresh" a descriptor for candy? Like, do you ever say, "Gotta get me some fresh candy!"?
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lisaburton retweetledi
Harrison Lott
Harrison Lott@harrisonlott·
is joe swearing on his book of spells
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Greta Thunberg
Greta Thunberg@GretaThunberg·
He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!
Greta Thunberg tweet media
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lisaburton
lisaburton@lisaburton·
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you can't win comedy
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