Little Mate

From now on all University jobs are known as "a feed my camp-ass job"

6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers: bit.ly/yeW4kK

Must remember to cut down on fizzy pop. My stomach is burning

Blazing boneless - I had my doubts, but actually a good choice from Regent Road KFC. Gravy and chips both spot on!

Time to get pissed up down Nags Head

No !! Plymouth I hate loosing to them southern puffs!

Sheeeeepshaaagerrrrs!!! #sheepshaggers

Pete Waterman: Me and my bumming machine | The Poke: fb.me/HbJHpZbA

I thought I was dreaming, saw the fittest bird ever running down the lane with her massive jugs wobbleing about #bouncybouncy

Steven! I will fuck your shit up!

Morning! Have a good day yer fuckers! Ride me cock.

Also I see Dominic West is playing his dad Fred tonight on ITV. Fred West was a big fan of The Wire. And The Pliers. And The Shovel etc.

My head is totally twatted now on me #sundaysmoke having a few shotties with some tinies

@CherylKerl Eh up! seen your new calendar pictures in t'paper with yer arse out. Fancy getting yer gash out? Or is that just fur Ashley?

Anyone fancy picking me up 10 beers and a pack if rizzla from the offy #righttodayoff

@bauknightstzo1 do I want one tho? Fuck off sending me shit - I'm on a comedown

I'm on an evil comedown #twisted my head is fucked

#xfactor was better with that saucy bitch Danni Minogue, and that bastard Cowell. Even tho he was a #cunt

I want some of that shit he's been snorting #xfactor