little thing

@sunprnce Im not sure if it was in 2017 or 2018 but at least eight years yeah....

@littlegetsSad EIGHT YESRS ?

No because wdym a stranger like 8 years ago couldn't stop reading my fanfic over and over and now we're best friends like WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN

Anyway im being emotional but you deserve so much my friend

I feel like I always knew you were important to me, because from the very beginning you pushed me to pursue my dream ?? Now its different obviously but also so much better like idk it took a long time for us to get closer and now you're my bestie and wow like wtfff

Ok so it seems i have autism

Maybe it could have a better outcome, but would I really risk it all ? I think I like my life the way that it is now, so I'm sorry past me. This will all pass, and it will come again. It will stop and It will start over. But you'll find your way to me. You'll find your way

But honestly, if I could be there, right in front of them as they cry and wonder when the pain stops, as they try to force it to end, I probably wouldn't say any of this. My life, our life, the way that it went, everything that happened, it makes me exist.

Exactly four years ago I was having one of the worst nights of my life. Tried to d!e, survived. I wish I could tell the person I was then how my, our life is going right now

But there's chores to do and a job to findd

Sometimes I just want to sleep for a bit. Not necessarily die, I feel like I'm past that, but just sleep and not be dead tired whenever I wake up. Just feel like my life got fixed , that I'm not going to feel like this again

I know everyone has their own thing, Im not blaming anyone, I just wonder why I don't have my own thing too. Why so much of my free time is spent asking my friends for borrowed time

I'm scared I might end up alone. Even my closest friends are not as close as I'd like them to be. Most of my days pass with a horrible sense of habit, and idk I just want to be able to share a moment with my best friend. To talk with all my other friends, play games, laugh

I've always been so scared of being alone. I guess it's because I was for a good while. I saw my friends not like me just as I liked them, I saw them leave and never miss me while I stood like a dog tied to a tree in distant woods