Laura Stockwell

Fun conversation starter: walk up to someone and say, “Tell me the truth.”

Help! My Kroger has become a Bro-ger!

🚨🚨🚨

@micdadam For a second I didn’t get that one (didn’t realize Cher sang that!) but then I was like…oh!!! I got you, babe. 👍👍

@micdadam So you don’t often say to yourself: “🎶If I could turn back time🎶…I’d choose a different word”?

@micdadam 🎶Do you believe🎶 that it’s a good start word?

Is the phrase “you’re playing with fire” supposed to discourage me from doing something? Cuz playing with fire is pretty fun actually.

Sometimes I feel like nothing matters in a really horrible, paralyzing way, and other times I feel it in a really badass, inspiring way.

The British calling a woman a “bird” > Americans calling a woman a “chick”

#MeandWho?

Me: “There’s a donkey!” My daughter: “Donkeys aren’t real!”

@micdadam Hear me out: maybe the person who ordered the food ordered it from the bathroom.

Can I cut or tear something to smithereens or must I blow it?

Them: Seize the moment! Me: (sees the moment) …nah.

@SethPTackett Now that’s a fine looking mug! 10/10 Thank you for your bravery.

Here is my favorite mug. Does anyone else even have the courage to post their favorite mug? #brave

My thoughts are like my vacation clothes: if I don’t unpack them right when I get home, they turn into a pile that make it harder for me to sleep.

I want a career where if I do a good job people throw flowers and stuffed animals at me, but I DO NOT want to ice skate.