☀️Gori Libbs ☀️

@Neil_Zee Oooh, a taxidermy supper club!

Floppy Keester, everybody. Love you.

@mattmcqueen Leave a note and a muffin basket. Muffins solve everything.

This vehicle has now parked in front of my house for the last 3 days and each time they've blocked my driveway. Can I back out and go around it? Yeah, but I think it's ignorant and I'm debating whether or not to leave a note on the windshield before calling parking authority. 🤬

@Traci_Zee You are 100% correct madame and I will verbally parry with anyone who dares to disagree with ye.

Cuisinart? More like SQUEEZEinart am I right laaaaadies?

I had a craving for salad last night and now I think I need a Life Call device.

@ChristyjFarrell I grew a nub.

People who own pressure washers, does it feel as powerful as it looks to have?

@JosieBalkaFM I'M DEAD. What an intimate question.

My mom just asked me if I’ve ever tried e transferring

Can some widower sugar daddy buy me a blue check mark? WHERE ARE YOU NOW, CATFISH?

Thrice yesterday, my Cat George & I both thought the kettle whistling was in fact a posse of songbirds. We were both very confused. Thrice. Dim & Dimmer over here.

@brookeperrin So you’re busy. Got it. Haaaaaaaa

using a ouija board to connect with all of the moments I’ve killed

James & the Giant Peach still holds up after 52 years. I’m 57. My peaches did not. Shut up. 🍑 @RoaldDahlFans

@brookeperrin I hope I get it I hope I get it 🎶

Are You There God? It's Me, The Stupid Little Bitch

@JosieBalkaFM Confirmed no.

If you don’t check your alarm at least 9 times, did you even set one?

@WendyLiebman In ma pants!

@FionaMattatall Duran Duran! And surprisingly to me, @Gowan when he opened for Def Leppard. What a performer!

Classic #TedLasso question for you: - first concert? - best concert?

@Radioian Right?!

I’m sick, home alone, and it’s an obligation-free Saturday. So I’m deep diving into my nerdy YouTube interests. There are a LOT of major modern cities that were founded in swamps.

I like good meds & I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny. When a nurse walks in with a little paper cup & some round things for your tongue, you get SPRUNG. Er somethin. Take yer meds.

@Traci_Zee Gasp