Mr.bread🍎

How many appleseeds would it take to kill myself?

Whatever im spiraling for no reason im just so tired of seeing things and the noises im especially tired of the noises

Im slowly starting to hate everything about me what is there to love really

I dont even like my art anymore its all shit even my stories everything is shit

Again i feel like no one would care and i really am just a burden i want to try again but the cup isnt full

Confession i do plan on trying a third time but i have a little cup im filling with apple seeds once its full if i still feel like killing myself the way i do now i will try again but if i dont the moment its full then i will empty it and repeat the cycle

Im sorta glad i can post my thoughts here even if no one is listening its nice thank you for reading

I wish i never told my friend about my attempts now i feel to guilty to try again but i disparately want out i could make them hate me so they could just forget me easier i wish i didn’t tell anyone actually

Its just strange waking up after an attempt and continuing to live i get sudden bursts of happiness but then all of a sudden crash down again i don’t know why

Its like the pain is just the rot inside me like festering almost from the attempt i don’t know how to describe it fully

Ngl on empty feeling nights like these are when i wished my attempt worked