Luke Scorcio

@narinehT11 @bluedogbeertav @latimesfood @Thrillist @Eater @LAmag @LAWeekly @BLMLA Wait. You think employees who have worked for a restaurant for 5+ years deserve to be told they won't be hired?! That's crazy talk!

A song for the times. Are You on Zoom? #zoom #quarantine #song #comedy #corona @ Sherman Oaks, California instagram.com/p/B_MHMWUpEXh/…

Just saw an old man leaving the grocery store with 6 bottles of ammonia and a 6 pack of Stella

@veronicaisdrunk I guess so. Gross.

Battery-life issues on a phone is like being sick all the time.

I'm so sick of unnecessary reboots. Just when I thought the Roseanne reboot was bad enough, they decide to reboot the NBA finals for the 4th year in a row!

Anyone else think it's weird that Blockers has the exact same plot as Eyes Wide Shut?

@ericwalsingham Sorry, bro

@lukescorcio I thought this was gonna be a Hurricane Heist tweet and left disappointed

The north remembers.

And after that game every Packer fan breathes a sigh of relief

My wine holder is finally fully stocked with wine. Either I've matured to adulthood or I have a skewed idea of what being an adult means.

Casting Call: "Must be comfortable with a rape scene". Me: I think you should have some serious doubts about anyone who is comfortable with a rape scene...

If King Kong is actually a man then how come we never see his dick?

My Lyft driver just played 3 songs about Xanax in a row

We now enter the time of year when everyone remembers that pumpkin beer really isn't very good.

I believe EVERYONE is beautiful enough to not have to use a Snapchat filter.

I love the dentist's waiting room. I also love standing in line at the DMV and the intros to standup specials.

I'm not sure whether Fat Sal's was created by god or the devil.

@StillNotSam This has been a emotional Twitter roller coaster. An emo-twitter-coaster.

I like going to bookstores because it helps me decide which books to order on Amazon.