Elise - bipolarest magical girl

Scaring myself a little ngl

@lavenderkcals I'd highly recommend trying it. I've been on mood stabilizers like lithium before and they didn't have any effect on my weight. Lithium seems like a good weight-neutral option (esp in comparison to antipsychotics, which actually are v linked to weight gain).

@lavenderkcals Lithium doesn't seem to cause weight gain, it reduces depression/mania, states in which most eat much less, and it increases thirst. A 2022 systematic review + meta-analysis found that lithium had the same effect on weight as a placebo.

stupid motherfucker prescribing me these fuck ass meds again i fucking HATE HER i’m NOT taking this shit

Telling myself the horrid physical symptoms are worth knowing that I'm losing weight every day

My body is so done with my shit lmao

Finally, I feel in control again.

Lmao my body is so done with my relapse. Somehow cold while sweating at the same time. Profoundly brainfogged. Feeling faint. Emotionally though... I'm doing great. I missed this feeling of being in control.

@kwittiepaw Thank you, that's really kind <3.

It's my birthday, but I feel so horrible. I'm literally shutting myself in my room so I don't have to eat while being unable to stop thinking about how much I fucking hate myself and my body. Nothing left to do but cry and type this vent that nobody'll read.

Moots... Are any of you still here with me?

Relapsing after recovering and gaining weight is so fucking miserable. I want to die. It's my birthday, and i want to fucking die. I can't stand being in my body.

Im back. It's officially relapse time. Been working on recovery for the last few months, but it's over now. I'm fucking done putting so much effort into "getting better" when it makes me feel even worse. Gimme a fucking shovel, I'm gonna dig til I hit rock bottom.

I don't even care much about losing weight rn, I'm just doing everything I can to avoid feeling my emotions until this depressive episode is over.

can't eat because i need to keep myself emotionally numb. i don't have time for a sobbing breakdown over nothing in particular, i have work to do.

Alcohol withdrawal insomnia is a fucking BITCH I haven't been able to fall asleep before 5 am for these last few days

I'm literally in severe alcohol withdrawal after 2 days of not drinking. I didn't know my drinking habit was that bad 😭.

Moving to a new city and starting uni rly revived the ana in me because I hate eating in front of ppl, I'm too broke rn to buy food to keep in my room, and I'm desperate for a sense of control in my life.

Not having a scale at uni is driving me crazy because I can see Ive dropped some lbs, likely to below my previous lw, but I can't even weigh myself to be sure. I'd buy one if I weren't completely broke ugh.

@askenazspo 💖