alyssa

Jake Gyllenhaal watching the internet go after John Mayer after Midnights came out

ok guys who’s going to be the pinole influencer

free jimmy lusaque jr

in another life i was probably a jonas brother

shout out linkedin. worst social media EVER!!

kinda bored going through my suggested on linkedin and requesting to connect with everyone i know

in my shoshana era where i’m fun and whimsical and into cynical guys who are older than me

there’s something to be said about people thinking meg stalter’s hot girl look and hot girl music is all ironic. and when i figure out the words to articulate it i will say it.

@omgitslizzie lowkirkenuinely don’t regret it it’s sooo funny 😭😭

everytime i get drunk i start a new bit. i don’t control this it’s something my brain chooses itself. last night it was dapping men up.

@luvrgrrrl777 this is something that would happen to larry david

said i’m gonna kms in front of the coworker that lost her son to suicide AND the coworker that lost her sister to suicide. really going full swing today huh.

diva!jimmy i love you

this may sound like a fake day to some but it’s real because i have a kind heart and i am the office princess

today was so good i wore a cute outfit and barely worked and did a little art project and both my work husbands were in the office and i got presents and i got a massage

bring them back i miss my bot followers

i live in california and i have to get gas soon im so fucking scared

my favorite part of having a crush is when i start acting mean for no reason

Cinco de Mayo on Taco Tuesday

one thing abt me is that i will overdress every time for everything

this is ME

being online as a medicated adult is so fun because if someone comments something i don’t like i can just delete it