mocchu 🪻🪽

I remember when everything started, even longer than three years ago. I didn’t have anyone, I didn’t have anywhere I felt like I belonged. Even the brightest days still feel dark, and no matter how much i wanted to find others, i always ended up alone and scared. Back then, i was told this was it for me. Where I was, was all I ever would be. When I heard things like that, it was easy to believe them.. and I did! Even still, I wanted to be with others!! Even without hope, my heart wanted somewhere I could feel safe. ☁️ In 2020 I started something new, something small.. I wanted to create new art and make something to express myself and.. I started doing ASMR roleplays! (＞人＜;) It really was a small thing! I’ve told this story before, I know… but I had my really old phone that couldn’t even stay alive without being hooked up, and I sat down in the guest bedroom of my grandma’s house and recorded myself talking and acting! I didn’t know what I was doing at all!!!! I couldn’t edit the audio, so every time my dog barked or scratched at the door I had to redo the whole thing! But I loved it! I loved it so much! It was my own thing, small and safe and away from all the stuff that made me scared. And eventually… you began fo find it! From ASMR, I found a community of people who were like me! People who wanted a place to belong, and so we belonged together! ♡ THAT was the start of everything! My introduction to everyone! My first step into a new world where I could be truly safe and free!! And.. from there… 🪦 on July 20th 2023, I died and became a dream entity ☁️ It was scary for sure! EVERYTHING was new. I had never done so much on my own before, but I thought to myself “I need to do this! This is where I belong”!! and I’m happy I listened to that voice.. Becoming a dream entity, without a shadow of a doubt, was the best thing to ever happen to me.. EVER! For the first time in my life, I had found a community of others like me. I found piwwos.. This sounds silly, but I didn’t know how much love could change everything..! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ 🩷 Because of so much had happened, it was hard to wake up in the mornings. I used to dread the days to come, and be scared of the future. I wanted everything to stand still, and all I ever wanted to do was hide away in a little ball and stay safe.. But piwwos showed me it doesn’t have to be that way. You showed me love and kindness. You supported me through my ups and downs, even when I didn’t know what I was doing or who I wanted to be! I learned to appreciate the parts of myself that I hated, and I learned to express the parts of me I hid away. I wake up and smile now! I wake up eager to spend time with you and take on the world! But… also play Minecraft ehehhhh….. ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ I feel more proud of myself now. Even if I still struggle with a lot of thoughts, piwwos have given me so much love that I feel more powerful than I ever have before! I know I can do anything if I try hard enough! I’m still so new in my journey, I still don’t understand a lot of things and I’m still improving, but I hope by even next year I’ll be super amazing at a lot of things! It’s all because of you though! It’s because of you that I learned I can accomplish stuff! That I can push forward to bigger heights and reach things I never thought were possible!! Your kindness, your love !!! 🌈 but… I also learned it’s okay to slow down. I don’t have to always be pushing myself. I wanted to, I tried to, but piwwos always told me “We just want you to be you”, and I’ve taken that to heart. I slow down when I need to, and I can feel safe knowing piwwos will still be there, even when I’m a little boring….