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me giving a speech at my wedding that I planned completely on my own.

Anyone else remember my cute phase where I would drink 400mg of caffeine at 5pm to workout and make mashed potatoes out of cauliflower. Yet, I was confused why I felt like garbage all the time.

@sillylilgoof You’re * wow.

@sillylilgoof Wife and I are going Saturday. Pls rate when your done.

@crochethousewyf To be fair, they probably think you’re lying about moving with the year you’ve had. Only 2 move pto requests a year 💀

@crochethousewyf If I go into office and I’m the only one there I’m going to start rooting for bama.

@zebraguy95 I am not haha

@m_houst_ ohhhhhhh are you going

I’m just saying, if she plays right where you left me in cincy I want to be drawn and quartered in front of Paycor.

“Finding good employees is hard these days, no one wants to work” - a small town man who runs a labor intensive business that doesn’t offer retirement, healthcare, or any paid time off.

I forgot my kindle automatically links to my good reads when I finish a book. I hope my old coworkers like my smut catalog.

The Roy family is a string theory of the Rose family if they didn’t end up in Schitt's Creek.

Should I make this a series

things people from my hometown are posting unironically:

@PopBase Say sike :/

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have broken up after six years together, ET reports.

If I have 13 reasons, Ticketmaster is #1

@sillylilgoof I’ll get it as a housewarming gift

I have UConn winning it all and I had Princeton beating Arizona. Espn hire me

@just__devs You’re the sweetest 🥲

I wish I received the same energy I give to everyone else. Im so tired.

@xokv_ Did you have a contract? You could take her to court if it comes to that.