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Kalen DeBoer bent me over hard today. Headed to casino though, time to win it back.

Peak Friday night.

Hello 79 Twitter followers, I got Creed in the background, round 25 on Kino Der Toten, 17 beers deep, and bag man on the way. Thanks for listening.

@itsdeaann has got to be the most insufferable human on the planet

Just got kicked out, bunch of fun haters.

Half liter of miller lite down at the Applebees and I’m getting political @Applebees

@Clayton62668605 @AB84 Alvin’s girl using too much teeth, he’s in pain.

@macchugs @AB84 Alvin, no chance about it

The debate that never dies. It’s clearly Simon. Need your opinion @AB84

Why do no streaming services have an A-Z movie search anymore. I don’t want to see “your recommended” Show me all the movies you have, holy!

Goodmorning, Your Government hates you.

Might’ve won but that mullet is a dumpster fire

@lukealtmyer9 got his cut from sportsclips holy

Didn’t know @IlliniFootball budget was big enough to pay off refs…

Hey @lukealtmyer9 you run slower than my grandma and she’s 73 🤣

No way your fatass coach ran down and made that timeout call @IlliniFootball

@KamalaHarris nice motto you bozo 😂 Also don’t send this bullshit to me again. Thanks.

@DeionSanders got a team full of crybaby back bitches. I remember seeing @TravisHunterJr bitch at his teammates on the field. Nebraska full of leaders and dogs.

Laughing, crying, and shitting. Colorado football is a joke 🤣🤣

Thank God every day Nebraska didn’t hire Deion Sanders 🙏🏼

I only eat cinnamon toast crunch for the milk afterwards.