Sarah Roach

Last night I told my mom “I hope my handwriting still looks like this when I’m an adult.” Apparently in my own mind I’m just pretend adulting. My puppy agrees.

My mom told me this morning that she eats HALF a breath mint on the way to the gym and later in the day the dog licks on the remaining half on the way to the dog walk route. I was left with so many questions.

Today on the lake my mom informed me that @PapaRoach07 and I are just a couple of 7’s who happened to find each other

@PapaRoach07 just asked me what my favorite color on a stoplight is and I said yellow. YELLOW. 🤦‍♀️ Who does that.

I am graduating from college today, and I just successfully folded a fitted sheet on the first try. Does this mean I’m an adult now?

When I opened the door for the @dominos delivery man and the subpar cheesy bread he dropped off he took one look at my dress and said “haha you didn’t have to dress up for me.” Not sure if I should be offended or complimented 😒

Or, you know, marry one 😂 x.com/Raid/status/98…

Final (Game 1): Minnesota State 5, Northern State 4 W: Dalton Roach (8-0, 8 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 14 K) L: Luke Chevalier (3-3) Dalton Roach now sits atop the Mavericks' career win list with 30! 👏👏👏 Roach's 14 strikeouts ties a career-high! 🔥 #MavFam #HornsUp #NSICBase

Just think, someday we can say to kids “you think you have it rough? I walked uphill both ways through a snowstorm in the middle of April” and be mostly accurate.

@marnie_britton With leftover mascara from work clumping under my left eye and a waterfall of hairs falling out of my ponytail that refuses to quit. 😂 I don’t get it either!

Remember that awkward feeling from childhood when your friend’s parents were yelling at your friends? In adulthood it becomes your friends disciplining their kids while you awkwardly scroll through Twitter.

Me: *pretends to text way to busy mom about it while blushing profusely* Sales: Oh, here it is, it looks like it was never entered in. Me: Great, thanks. *Moves on to the next cryptic task. Wonders if parents are part of a bathroom accessory cartel*

Me: well it might be under my dad’s name *gives that* Sales: nope, nothing Me: *likely blushing, consults list* um, it looks like the name Jane or Jaue is scribbled sideways here? 🤷‍♀️ Sales: 🙄 let me check her office

Running errands for my parents: a narrative: Me: *walks over to saleswoman in store* hi, I am here to pick up a bathroom light for my mom Me: *gives mom’s name* Sales: there are zero orders under that name 😐

@marnie_britton Well I don’t know him personally but I think he’s about 6’ 11”, likely German, and based on the hashtag probably plays basketball 👍

.@MinnStBaseball right-hander @PapaRoach07 reflects on becoming program's career strikeout leader. 📺keyc.com/story/37790911…

Candy, costumes and a chance to win a year's worth of free tampons and pads from @realmonthlygift! How? Stop buy Sojstrom house Monday 5-7pm

"There are more important things in life than sleep, and badminton is one of them" - @mae_grigsby #randomthoughtswithmae

@KlineLindsey most of them already can! Aim for the two leggers😉

"OUR FRIDGE IS HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS! IT THINKS IT IS A FREEZER." - @mae_grigsby 😂😂