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@702ValetParker relistening and hopefully finish in time for the new book. just started book 3. choo-choo motherfucker!

Can’t wait for the next book to drop in May!! #dungeoncrawlercarl

@702ValetParker sexy bot

Hey everyone! Just posting a photo of me being a complete bot who edits all her photos for male validation. Please remember I do not actually look like this, this is the result of approximately 400 filters, divine lighting, and emotional instability. Anyway hiiiiiii.

@702ValetParker #1 all the feathers

Which hat??? Sadly my old hat was crushed when boxes in my storage fell over. Counting down the days until Pirate Fest!

@702ValetParker i keep my mouth shut so pretty much already matching what i got...

Imagine if men’s endowments were as publicly visible as women’s breasts. The global volume of male commentary would drop overnight, purely out of self-preservation.

@702ValetParker I feel like I felt at least one up back in the day when I used to get some action...

@major_nutz Yup, popular in the early 2000’s.

Does anyone else remember when water bras were a thing?

@702ValetParker HBD ❤

Thanks for the birthday messages y’all!

@702ValetParker i mean my hot redheaded bartender with big tits DOES get me to drink too much. it's just not a problem though.

Blaming sex workers for your broken marriage is like blaming bartenders for your drinking problem.

@702ValetParker only Carl and the Princess can save us now...

In times like these just ask yourself what Dungeon Crawler Carl would do. And then do that thing.

@702ValetParker i was unfortunately working but damn how did i miss that was happening?

Not to brag, but I spent yesterday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. at the theater watching the extended editions of Lord of the Rings. As one does.

@702ValetParker hottie <3

I wore contacts for the first time in years last week and couldn’t take it. After about 2 hours I needed my glasses. It felt weird.

@TantraErica the hot tub is fixed and waiting on your sexy cheeks whenever you're feelin froggy 💋💕

@major_nutz I promise I will be taking you up on that soon Boo Bear.

Just got back in the country... Im thinking I just may need more massages than I want to give.

@702ValetParker eat a dick, pony

I drew a thing ✨ One of the most interesting characters from the Dungeon Crawler Carl series. And since I’ve burned through the books and am now stuck waiting for the next one to drop, I’ve been channeling that energy into designing a Dungeon Crawler Carl–themed tarot deck. Because waiting patiently was never an option.

@702ValetParker can confirm.

My pussy’s good enough to act the way I do 🐱

@702ValetParker 😍😍

@702ValetParker you owe us nothing. You're the angel, well done picking up the slack for us lazy people. Good job everybody! 💕

I realize I missed posting an update on December 12 about the Angel Tree, and I owe you an apology. The end of the week became unexpectedly hectic with a last-minute trip out of town, a few dinner dates, and a holiday party. Still, it was important to me to circle back and properly say thank you. Because of your generosity, whether you purchased gifts directly from my throne, or sent support via Venmo or CashApp, every angel was taken off the tree. Even more, after fulfilling each child’s wishlist, there was enough left to ensure that every child also received essentials: a pair of shoes, a three-pack of new socks, leggings for the girls, jeans for the boys, a long-sleeve shirt, and a fleece jacket. One request in particular stayed with me. A young girl listed only a Moon Box kit, period essentials, as her Christmas wish. Seeing a child ask for such a basic necessity was genuinely heartbreaking. I made sure she received the kit, along with two $25 gift cards, one to Barnes & Noble and one to Target, since she hadn’t listed any toys or interests beyond her clothing size, favorite color, and age. The photo I previously shared shows the gifts I personally wrapped for the children, with the exception of four additional angels who were taken off the tree a day later. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for making this possible and for showing these kids just how much they are cared for. I’m so blessed to have kind followers and other providers who really went out of their way to give these precious angels a Christmas! Thank you all! Even just sharing helped. 💕

@702ValetParker looking fab Miss Parker 🥰

Hiiiiii

@702ValetParker just...to what end? i hate it here...dumbest timeline ever.

Fantastic. Now boobs come with RGB lighting. Can’t wait for the next generation where they overheat, crash, and need a firmware update. Nothing screams femininity like rebooting your tits. lineuropeclinic.com/rgb-smart-brea…

@702ValetParker I assume your Cash App is the one that shows up when I search "Valet Parker"? just making sure there's not some fake one out there

My school’s Angel Tree is still heartbreakingly full. Out of dozens of kids, only five families have been chosen so far. Every remaining angel is a child in need , kids in foster care, kids in homeless shelters with their parents, or little ones from struggling families. I already took 10 angels myself, but there are still so many kiddos left without gifts for Christmas. If anyone wants to help, you can CashApp me any amount to support a child’s wishlist. I’ll DM you the angel you’re sponsoring, show you their list, send your purchase receipt, and a photo of the wrapped gift being dropped off at the front desk. Pickup for delivery is 12/12, so time is tight. Even $5 helps give a child something to open on Christmas morning. Please share this post!