Malorie

this had me cackling for five minutes

🎯

I’m supposed to go out tonight and be social but I’d really prefer to rot in bed and binge watch a show or clean and listen to my audiobook. Am I getting old? 🙃😂

Private life. Public peace.

Funny how people celebrate being a chapter when they were just a footnote

My gym texted me and asked where I’ve been and if I’ve been okay 🙃 lol time to get back into it

I love spontaneous date nights

Stress level on almost bought a pack of Marb Lights on my lunch break

Who needs a birkin when you have a slice of buttered bread???

"More people would like you if you toned it down a notch and made a greater effort to fit in." Me:

Starting Below Deck from season 1 again is the best decision I’ve made in a long time

When I tell you that I am STRESSED

Both my mom and sister are Scorpios and I’m an Aquarius, which means I’m constantly stressed and emotionally audited like it’s tax season 🙃😂

Levi randomly screaming “MUSTAAAAARD” in the car is sending me

there’s no way

@chelsea_mae_33 Happy Birthday beautiful!!!!

Guys, it’s been my birthday for two minutes, and nobody has wished me happy birthday yet.

Talks the most but says the least

Wtf this gotta do with me?

As a person who loves sleep, I can honestly say it does NOT get any easier waking up for the gym at 4:30am 😭😂

Thiss