Mallory Bedwell

I feel like the goddamn French have waged war with America because why the fuck else would people think raw dogging a stick of butter and a hunk of meat is a valid diet? The French is why, those butter loving bastards have waged war with cholesterol and triglycerides /s

My sister being extra mad that I told her she's a white woman who votes for white women issues because she willingly chooses to remain diasporic doesn't make me happy but she needs to understand her lack of intersection, and her lack of embracing her culture is white supremacy

Kamala Harris does not have a poker face lmaooo

Petition for Chili’s to stop making food and keep making drinks. Those margaritas are so strong I think they’re made with Everclear

@envygeeks Listen we weren’t sure if that was Mexican oregano or a whole mess of marijuana, so we sent in a canine SWAT team just in case

I think you customs mother fuckers are just racist against Latinx people. Avocado ain't no threat, you're just a bitch

since when are s’mores $9 this economy is hell 😭

Drawing in Procreate feels so much easier than IRL because I can erase, erase, erase with no consequences. Also copy and paste!

yes

Somebody tell me I’m not a support engineer anymore and it’s ok to accept external help :(

@envygeeks LEAVE ME ALONE IT WAS SUMMERTIME

I just looked at the alien petition forms and process at USCIS and it's not that hard, actually it would only take me a few hours to do the petition, the rest of it is dealing with USCIS, what's so fucking hard for ya'll?

@envygeeks A stable job or any job even 😭

David telling Ashlie not to quit her day job because she can't sing is insane. Because like my guy, have you ever even had a stable job to judge people like that? #90dayfiance

@envygeeks Spoiler: he doesn’t

A white man from New Mexico just referred to Mexico as Old Mexico and idk if he deserves to survive the day

Can’t talk right now making buttermilk biscuits with my bare hands

@envygeeks Why does the first one’s breading look so different than the other two? WHY DOES IT ALL LOOK LIKE DINO CHICKY NUGGIES?

New York. What's going on with your fried chicken? Why is it white and uncooked when it comes out of the fryer?

wtf man @envygeeks just asked me if The Wire is Law & Order for millennials 😭😭😭

Getting someone to watch The Wire should NOT be this hard

#90dayfiance business ideas: Angela’s Freedom Fry food truck, 10% of proceeds go to deporting Michael

Every Tom Ford fragrance I’ve smelled smells truly terrible

Bailey is incapable of feeling shame and I kind of love that for her. But I’ll wave a destroyed object at her, asking “did you do this?!” and she just smiles and dances 😭

@envygeeks I can’t take any of them seriously!!!!!

@malwaaare Ok but why does everyone think he's more famous than her? Like are they being serious?

I refuse to call John Krasinski anything but Mr. Emily Blunt