maria🦝

"What do your tattoos mean?" That I had $200 and no one stopped me

When I say “rn” I don’t mean “right now”. I mean it’s Rat Night and you’re invited

karaoke night makes me so proud

Physically I’m trapped in the United States. But mentally? I’m at the scholastic book fair trying to decide what I want my pencil to smell like

The next time you’re fishing and you’re about to put a worm on your hook? take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself “am I really okay fishing with what used to be someone’s girlfriend?”

I’m not isolating myself, I’m just not leaving the house or responding to any messages

I posted a tiktok about people complaining that no on knows Kendrick and got this response

When they cremate people do the microplastics melt together and form some kind of human frisbee

Should I come back to this god forsaken website to post my silly lil jokes

Defund SpaceX

if his show was on TikTok it would be unalive Tony

nothing feels better than filling out that ballot and picking the people you hate slightly less

"I'm shocked by what was said at that rally!" why? because they're saying the quiet part out loud now? surely you could hear ten years of whispers

a white male comedian had a shitty take??? nooooo that's never happened before omg

the best part of being an American is the total existential dread every two to four years

guys stop hating on that comedian!!! it's not his fault, he was peer pressured into being racist at the racism rally!!

racism? at a turnip rally? groundbreaking.

@earth2devon I love YOU!!!

@mariamainmo love you 🩷

whenever a hot woman goes viral for simply existing in her skin, anonymous weirdos love nothing more than to say heinous shit that they'd never repeat in front of their mother. let the girlies be!!!

@cymbaltababy people hate to see a hot woman thriving

is it just me or is it super weird when older men want women who are younger than their daughters to writhe around on them? like, she could easily be another one of your children who is deeply disappointed in you!