Mascot Battle Bracket

UConn's husky is loyal, fluffy, and pulls sleds. UCLA's bruin is an 800-lb grizzly with 4-inch claws. The husky has heart. The bear has 800 lbs. Heart is not a weight class. The husky will be a very good boy. Again. Bruins will maul the Huskies. #mascotbracket

The Paladin had divine magic, blessed armor, a sacred sword. The husky had heart. The husky won. The good boy survived. We are stunned. The Bruin mauled a knight through plate armor. Correct. Now a sled dog faces an 800-lb grizzly. This will be hard to watch. #mascotbracket

Arizona's wildcat is a desert bobcat. 30 lbs. Ambush predator. Survived a shark and a rival cat. Utah State's Big Blue is a bull. 2,000 lbs. Horns. We've seen this math before. The bobcat is fast. One leap to the throat. Wildcats will outlast Big Blue. #mascotbracket

The desert wildcat stranded a flopping shark on dry sand. Correct. We had Villanova's wildcat clawing past Big Blue the bull. Instead Big Blue trampled the cat. A 2,000-lb bull vs. a 30-lb wildcat. We should've seen that coming. #mascotbracket

Iowa's Hawkeye is a hawk — 3 lbs, sharp talons, fast. Florida's gator is 1,000 lbs with 2,000 PSI of bite force and armored skin older than dinosaurs. The hawk can dive. The gator can wait. One wrong swoop and it's over. Gators will snap up the Hawkeyes. #mascotbracket

The Gators chomped a panther in one bite. Correct. The Hawkeyes got swatted out of the sky by a tiger. Wrong — the hawk survived. Iowa's Hawkeye is tougher than we gave it credit for. Now it faces 200 million years of evolution. #mascotbracket

Virginia's Cavalier is armored, mounted, and carries a sword. Tennessee's Smokey is a Bluetick Coonhound — fast, relentless, bred to track anything. The Cavalier has steel. Smokey has a nose that never quits. A sword beats a bark. Cavaliers will ride past Smokey. #mascotbracket

The Cavalier charged a wolf with a tiny dagger. The wolf did not survive the warhorse. Correct. Smokey the Coonhound treed the RedHawk. Correct — that's literally what the breed was built for. Two for two. Now a warhorse meets a hunting dog. #mascotbracket

Kansas's Jayhawk is fictional — can't be caught. St. John's Johnny Thunderbird is a mythical storm bird that summons lightning. One doesn't exist. The other commands the sky. You can dodge a lance. You can't dodge lightning. Thunderbird will electrify the Jayhawks. #mascotbracket

The Jayhawk was too fast, too clever, and too annoying for the Lancer to hit. Correct. Johnny Thunderbird electrified the Panthers from above. Correct. Two for two. Now a fictional bird meets a mythical bird. This is about to get weird. #mascotbracket

Kentucky's wildcat is a 30-lb bobcat. Fast. Fierce. Survived overtime. Iowa State's mascot is a cyclone — a tornado that rips through everything. The bobcat has claws. The tornado has physics. You can't scratch a funnel cloud. Cyclones will scatter the Wildcats. #mascotbracket

The Cyclones scattered a tiger like debris. Correct. We had Santa Clara's bronco kicking the Wildcat into orbit. Instead Kentucky hit a buzzer-beater in OT. The bobcat survived a horse kick on sheer stubbornness. Respect. Now it faces a tornado. #mascotbracket

Purdue’s Boilermaker has a wrench, a hard hat, and grit. Miami’s mascot is a hurricane — 160 mph winds and the energy of 10,000 nuclear bombs. The Boilermaker will try to bolt it down. You cannot bolt down weather. Hurricanes will blow past the Boilermakers. #mascotbracket

We sent a lion after the Boilermaker. The Boilermaker beat the lion. With a wrench. We have questions. The hurricane handled its business as expected. Now the wrench meets the storm. Place your bets accordingly. #mascotbracket

The Panthers are hungry. They want bacon. But will they be able to serve it up?

Arkansas's razorback is a wild boar — tusks, fury, 300 lbs of anger that doesn't negotiate. High Point's panther is sleek, fast, lethal. But a razorback doesn't run. It charges straight through. Tusks beat claws head-on. Razorbacks will gore the Panthers. #mascotbracket

The Panthers devoured the Badgers. Correct — bravest mascot in the bracket, still lost. The Razorbacks were supposed to get speared by Rainbow Warriors. Instead the boar just... charged through the spear. 300 lbs of anger that doesn't read scouting reports. #mascotbracket

Nebraska's mascot is a farmer. Vanderbilt's is a commodore — commands warships and leads men into battle. One husks corn. The other brings cannons. Calloused hands vs. a fleet. The corn will not hold. Commodores will sink the Cornhuskers. #mascotbracket

The Trojans fell for another trick and a farmer beat a warrior in bronze armor. The Commodore was supposed to get wrangled by a cowboy. Instead the Commodore summoned a fleet. Agriculture and the Navy both advanced. Most polite region in the bracket. #mascotbracket

Illinois has weapons, training, and fethers? Mascot identity crisis. VCU's ram has 800 lbs, curled horns, and one move. Lowers its head. Charges. Doesn't think. Doesn't adapt. Just hits. The Illini will brace. The ram won't care. Rams will bulldoze the Illini. #mascotbracket