Mathew Parrott

The people angrily denouncing Rage Against the Machine for Tom Morello's leftist politics is one of the more hilarious things I have ever seen on the internet. WHAT MACHINE DID YOU THINK THEY HAVE BEEN RAGING AGAINST FOR DECADES? THE ICE CREAM MACHINE? THE ATM? LAWNMOWERS?

It's as if Trump does not want another term.

If I mysteriously disappear, this will be why

Every once in awhile someone takes a good photo of me.

The “war on drugs” was intentionally created to incarcerate black people en masse. An educational thread:

You do...um...know the story of Icarus?

@ViolentMoth @JontiSparrow I know, I get that

@mat_parrott @JontiSparrow I get what you're saying, my statement was more continuing on the musing than it was one-upmanship

Why does IGTV have static at the beginning of every video? As if anyone under the age of 23 remembers static on televisions?

@JontiSparrow @ViolentMoth I mean I was going to point out how the save icon was developed at a time floppy disks were prevalent, whereas TVs with static were not prevalent when IGTV was created. But as you can see that's long winded and boring.

@ViolentMoth @mat_parrott She’s fucking had you here lad

This is full on super-villain shit right here. My bet is on @elonmusk

Why do we always call it 'escaping' from a kidnapper, but 'nipping out' for a pint of milk? We never hear 'escaping' for a pint of milk or 'nipping out' from a kidnapper. Surely some consistency is needed?

@Conservatives This is KFC not LBC don’t @ me.

Sleepwalking into disaster

When I was in primary school I once got detention for being "too lazy to learn colours". Yeah, turns out I'm colour blind.

Me: So...which hole should I put it in? Her: Just. Go. Me: Rimmed that hole again. Her: Please. Stop. Me: Hold my putter? Her: ~ what it’s like playing me in mini golf

If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles then you too can be anything you want.

You deserve someone who chooses you always. And all ways. When nothing seems okay and everything hurts. Someone who can bring you back from the hell in your mind by simply making you laugh.