Matt Goldich

25.2K posts

Matt Goldich

@MattGoldich

I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie

New York, NY Katılım Ocak 2009

1.4K Takip Edilen19.9K Takipçiler

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·22 Ara

I'm not gonna post on here as much in 2026. (I already don't post on here as much.) I'm not a hero, I'm still going to check it, but if we're friends or you like my Tweets please find me all the other places. Instagram. Bluesky. I think I'm on TikTok? I dunno, Threads?

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·3d

do his parents manage his money

Phillies Tailgate@PhilsTailgate

NEWS: Preston Mattingly and four others from the Phillies are currently in Japan scouting Hanshin Tigers 3B Teruaki Sato. Sato’s stats this season: 138 AB | 51 H | 15 2B | 10 HR | 30 RBI | 23 BB | 41 K | .370/.453/.739

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·28 Nis

@Steven_Hyden youtube.com/watch?v=eKbk7B…

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Steven Hyden@Steven_Hyden·28 Nis

Heading to Texas this week, with stops in Dallas, Tyler and Abilene. Hit me with your recommendations: Record stores, restaurants, etc.

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·22 Mar

@NoahGarfinkel It’s a Buffalo Exchange now

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·15 Mar

@ditzkoff Inside you there are two Jacks

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Dave Itzkoff@ditzkoff·15 Mar

It’s finally happening

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·13 Mar

@robertsietsema Best cheese fries in the game

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Robert Sietsema@robertsietsema·12 Mar

Anybody remember Coffee Shop at Union Square, circa 2018?

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·16 Şub

@Steven_Hyden "Fuck the naysayers 'cause they don't mean a thing, 'Cause this is what style we bring" may as well be the Eagles' motto

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Steven Hyden@Steven_Hyden·16 Şub

So many insane transitions here, though "Hotel California" into 311's "All Mixed Up" has a weird "debauched white guy reggae" logic to it.

McNeil@REFLOG18

Buddy of mine sent me this mix we made back in the year of our lord 1996. 😂 I think it seriously holds up.

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·4 Oca

@justin_halpern Going east with a baby is a 7 out of 10, going west with a baby is a negative 137

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Justin Halpern@justin_halpern·4 Oca

In which I attempt to rank vacationing with your children based on their ages justinhalpern.substack.com/p/how-fun-is-i…

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·22 Ara

I seem to get a lot of likes on Threads if anyone knows where to redeem those

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·22 Ara

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·21 Ara

A good prank right now would be to start live-blogging a fake Browns-Dolphins game from London

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·21 Ara

I haven’t seen James Madison dominated like this since British troops captured Washington in 1814

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·21 Ara

Too early for Eagles to start thinking about the NFC East three-peat?

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·21 Ara

Tough to defend, he releases a ton of content

Ian Rapoport@RapSheet

Josh Johnson has now replaced injured #Commanders QB Marcus Mariota (hand).

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Matt Goldich retweetledi

Steven Hyden@Steven_Hyden·20 Ara

Still some of the finest music criticism ever written.

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·20 Ara

One year ago today RIP Diane Keaton

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·20 Ara

I went on one Epstein trip but was disinvited from future ones for saying “what if we stopped photographing everything and just took *mental* snapshots”

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·20 Ara

Damn. You think you know a guy

Remarks@remarks

JUST IN: Newly released documents reveal that Jeffrey Epstein met with Michael Jackson.

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·19 Ara

This "vote" took place yesterday. I performed at the Kennedy Center last year. We had to have our between-show dinner order in 4 days in advance

The New York Times@nytimes

Breaking News: Workers began adding President Trump’s name to the Kennedy Center, despite no action by Congress to legally rename it. This sparked outrage among the Kennedy family, since it was built to be a living memorial to the 35th president. nyti.ms/457tvY0

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·19 Ara

As I’m sure you already know, today, December 19, is #NationalHeroesandHeroinesDay. In its honor, here is the greatest (and only) National Heroes and Heroines Day joke of all time. #comedy #latenight #surpriseinspection #fbf

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Matt Goldich@MattGoldich·18 Ara

They don’t really have any other good options on the roster, Russell Wilson wasn’t cutting it and Jameis throws too many INTs

َ@twilightkylo

genuinely so confused how j***** d*** is still getting film roles he’s not that good & he currently looks like a corpse

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Keşfet

@Steven_Hyden @NoahGarfinkel @ditzkoff @robertsietsema @justin_halpern @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13