Captain Appleseed

This would almost work as a Goose music video

@AutismFam OG shit there

Told my daughter I got her a Stanley....she was not amused

@phuckchristy @JesseMixMan Guy Fieri has a spot down there😁

@JesseMixMan Terrible areas. You’re better off spending your day in Richmond or Williamsburg.

@jcoleman10 I have a hammer like that, though I've never used the feature. If I'm grabbing a nail from my bag, it goes straight to wall with left hand and drive with the right. It's an added motion to attach it to the hammer that I don't take.

No professional carpenter does this to my knowledge, and I've worked around a lot of them.

@Jhmurphy24 Nothing loves you like a Boxer

@UtopiaCafeJon That's what's up!

Nothing like February in Chicago. Anyhoo, I'll still probably be there😁

@brianmc_arch I only go with claw hammers anyway.

@mcaction2442 Agree….if you wear a pink bowling shirt, you may want to do this!😜😜😜😜😜

@momof3gogogo @usbank Banks are the devil

Someone hacked my daughter’s @usbank account to the tune of over $5000 and she got a letter stated because it was a wire transfer and the other bank already gave out the money they cannot give her her money back. They COULD reimburse her but they aren’t “obligated” to. Wow!

I understand nobody really engages in twitter anymore but I'd sure love some RTs on my last tweet inviting the president of Romania down to this fine comedy festival.

And you guys waste your time cancelling people with fake outrage while I mine for gold nuggets like this on the interwebs. We are not the same.

Request: Stop jumping on the trendy thing to be noticed about for the day. Bullying in any direction is still bullying. Don’t @ me.

@grobbinator That works too

I don't believe in the Bible, but God damned if it doesn't feel like the End Times are here. I suggest taking a heroic dose of mushrooms and reading Revelations this weekend. I mean, I won't be doing that, but you should. Report back.

Happy Place

@tweezerfest I kind of enjoyed the thrill😁

@jcenerizio @forty_six_and2 I have not? I'm guessing I should?

@mcaction2442 @forty_six_and2 Have you guys watched The Chosen on Netflix. thechosen.tv/en-us

@debbieprints1 That a lil cutie pie right there

@mcaction2442 see the newest member of our family… his name is Rusty.. A small dog

@AutismFam Big Gulps, eh?

@mcaction2442 You get the small? Its only 1 gallon

I know I've been gassing up Europe lately. I really loved it, but they didn't have my Magic Coke machines over there. It's good to be home😁