Chase McCheddars

Girls need to start making out with each other more.

If airports had black lights instead of metal detectors I would be fucked

@hennycamenzyn Counter argument: imagine it is the city of your favorite team and everyone is hammered and looking to fuck each other. I am in Pittsburgh and that is how it is

Attending the NFL draft sounds like an awful experience, couch is far superior

Pops and his buddy talking about their friend exposing himself to random women. You know what? Hell ya

Just got no scoped #clipped

@hennycamenzyn One of them said that they just found out Durant was on the Rockets

Half the groupchat found out James Harden is on the Cavs tn

Shot tracer typa piss

My use of rape in the office has hit all time highs. Highly correlated with the market

@mooredick1995 Relatable

Coming back from an 8 day ban because freedom of speech no longer exists

Twitter interns after going through my tweets to see if I should be unbanned

Me after raping: “Did you cum too?”

Me watching all the kids go inside from recess after the school gets put into lockdown due to a guy on one knee in the distance watching all the kids play

my underwear watching me buy the tung tung tung sahur fortnite skin

@ErnieInYaBox Hitting mass soon

@mccheddars Chase today is the day Jesus died for our sins. -Ernie

Would you rather be raped by a guy for 3 hours straight or your daughter gets raped 3 times

Me all last week while waiting to be unbanned for asking Sam Dekker if he wants his mom raped

In a recently completed experiment, this is what happens when you put “free food” in one of your hinge prompts

@tammyluvbutt If u got raped it’d be ok

Wife made me go to couples therapy last week Nice office Two couches Box of tissues The therapist asked what brings us in My wife said "he treats everything like a transaction" I said "that's not true" The therapist asked me to give an example of something I do that isn't transactional I thought about it for 11 seconds I could not think of an example The therapist asked how that made me feel I said "efficient" My wife looked at the therapist The therapist looked at my wife They had a moment I was not part of the moment My wife said "do you love me?" I said "I chose you. Every day I choose you. That's not emotion. That's a commitment with a compounding return and I don't see a better alternative in the market." The room went quiet My wife cried The therapist cried I didn't understand why That was the most romantic thing I've ever said The therapist said "I think we should meet weekly" I said "what's your hourly rate?" She said "$275" I said "for both of us or each?" My wife picked up her purse and walked out I stayed to negotiate the rate Got it down to $250 Small win Sent from my iPhone

How do I use this to my advantage