Michael

I think I may be evolving faster than the rest of humanity. Or, I am ill. It's one of the two.

The Gos and Harry Styles make it worth a second watch… if only to remind me that everything will be alright. boxd.it/ff2bfP

You are the soft light through my midnight window. Please come and rest— take care of me until dawn. When morning finds us, leave quietly with the stars.

Monsters of Folk - His Master's Voice youtu.be/gh0rNeYVT9A?is…

The beauty of Wes Anderson’s earlier films was that I wasn’t constantly noticing the stylized sets, costumes, and cinematography. With his more recent films, I find myself thinking every few seconds, “That’s very Wes Anderson.” “Only Wes Anderson.” “Wes Anderson is Wes Andersoning.” “Wes Anderson.” “Wes…”

You can teach a horse to fish, but you can’t make him swim.

Did you know Jesus was actually in the early stages of writing his third book, The Trible, before his sacrifice? Four out of five scholars believe he was fleshing out a chapter called “Noah’s Burden: The Husbandry Years.”

Nobody eats purple grapes! Big Grape will stop at nothing to convince you otherwise.

Good lord! My buildingmate must have finally gotten his concrete foot implants.

I wear sunglasses and smoke reefers whenever I defy the Man by using a BUTTER knife to spread my grape jelly.

just learned that the word "ferret" is derived from the Latin word furittus meaning "LITTLE THIEF" and that a group of ferrets is called a BUSINESS and i am absolutely pleased with this new knowledge

I dreamed I was sleeping (which seems rather lazy of my brain). In the dream I woke up sensing my alarm was about to go off, so I switched it off. Then my actual alarm went off. I woke up and switched it off. I lay there in silence for a moment before getting out of bed, and I swear my alarm said, “That’s right, bitch.”

I’ve waited for many years for someone to curse me out for riding on a city sidewalk where there are no bike lanes. I fantasize them throwing a hand in the air in disgust at my perceived egregious act and saying, “It’s called a sidewalk, not a ridewalk!” And as I ride past them, I gently say, “I think you mean to say, ‘It’s not a sideride,’ angry citizen. Incidentally, fun fact: are you aware that the UK calls these pavements?” To which they’d get even more angry and start shouting a litany of obscenities at me. Then I’d laugh to myself and ride off with a proud grin on my face—on the sidewalk.

Listen—I will take my Oxford commas, semicolons, em dashes, and unnecessary parenthetical asides to my grave (don’t actually bury me though; just burn my corpse or whatever).

To truly understand me, you have to be set to dark mode.

@lyrah Yes, yes. Yes. Yes! YESSSS! There’s five.

one yes and i’ll release asap 🫡

μ-Ziq - “Goodbye, Goodbye” youtu.be/d3JaMIkqPtk?is…

This shadow on the fresh snow from an LED street lamp

Sometimes, well no, oftentimes, okay no, all the time, when I open my front door to get my food delivery from my doorstep, I say under my breath, “The new phone book’s here!”

I have absolutely no money. I meant to grab my tips before I left work today. I realized I forgot my tips only a block away from my house. Luckily I have enough gas in the tank to get me to work. I’m going to attempt to broil some cod tonight. As soon as it cools off enough and I clear out the shit I store in the oven, I’ll yank the fish from the fridge and do me up some motherfuckin’ yummy ass cod. Is it appropriate to use “yummy” immediately after the word “motherfuckin’”, and followed by “ass”?! It seems wrong, but it amuses me and I’m keeping it. …that makes me think of the “fucking-a”. What the hell does the “a” stand for?! Does it mean ass? Asshole? And if so, why is “fucking” said but not ass? Aren’t both words equally offensive? And if it’s for brevity, then abbreviate the entire thing, man! It bothers me to no end! Really. …I’m lame, I know. — LiveJournal, May 23, 2005 (Revised)