britty

Dis me

The jokes write themselves

@drunkhankey Oh look, it’s a stinky fatty loser hiding behind a burner account hating on women because he can’t get any play and hates himself deep deep down

@mediocrebritty Like you know what spybar and vision were 😂

If you think about it, Spybar is literally a Minecraft monster spawn

Me grinding out emails at 10pm so my leads go to bed thinking about me 😇

I’m tired of y’all making SpongeBob freaky he is a hustler. He would never do any of the shit y’all see him doing now. A lot of shit going on in the background that y’all don’t even know

BITCHES TALKIN SHIT

Casting director at ABC who insisted Taylor Frankie Paul be the bachelorette

It’s beautiful outside but I feel like laying in my dark room and going to bed at 7pm again

Got my horse to water. Now for the easy part

@CJBulanda I’m going to red rover myself over these couples holding hands

@mediocrebritty I love this city but we are the absolute worst at taking up the sidewalk and not moving out of the way

If I was mayor of Chicago, I would push for a law on banning couples from holding hands and taking up the sidewalk while they walk. They would instead have to go down the sidewalk via piggy-back rides

@annabesss Me in Chicago with my $10 brow thread and calling it a day

girlies out here in los angeles asking for $310 for a brow lamination + lash lift absolutely go fuck urself

I hope Lorde brings out Randy Marsh at Lolla ya ya ya ya

@hereandnow0525 Two capers on top of a chicken piccata 🥹

@mediocrebritty wait… me too 🥹

I’m not a vaper anymore, but what I am now is a caper… a caper on a delicious dish of chicken piccata, with a succulent white wine sauce, paired with fresh angel hair pasta

@11kmrn He has to give you one

@mediocrebritty idk if i could give my bf a piggy back ride tho

i be tired all day then get to bed and be like this

They’re pissing me off at the pissing me off factory

@DDirtstar x.com/foodrotonsol/s…

@mediocrebritty Excuse me?

If I were a real estate developer, every apartment complex and neighborhood I built would have its very own data AI slopcenter. You would have 500 residents able to offset the electricity and water costs right there. Imagine the returns?

this girl who scammed me recently popped up in my dreams last night and she scammed me in my dreams too. this bitch good