The Winterport Mayor

@bananabeansz @NevervotingDem @seamus_coughlin Not really sure what your deal is. If you’re trying to be funny or what. But this is ACTUALLY an insane thing to say. You know, Anna, I really hope this is some kind of attempt at humor, because if it’s not? That’s even worse. And trust me, even as a joke, it’s a poor attempt.

@NevervotingDem @seamus_coughlin Yes it is 😭

It isn't immigrants. It's billionaires. A billionaire stole your social security number and crashed his car into your family while driving without insurance- it was a billionaire.

@bananabeansz @NevervotingDem @seamus_coughlin IS THIS REAL!?????!!!

Readying the roast #MyPLMorning Bulldog’s Wolves vs Spurs #COYS

@s4m31p4n DrJohnson1494 It was an icebreaker at work once and no one knew if they should laugh or not

What was your AIM screen name

@s4m31p4n All my tweets in 2018 are very anti dog but it never caught on Instead I got a dog and people started to like me Once he dies I’ll most likely go back to anti dog though

How am I the only person on earth brave enough to say dogs are terrible and unbearable

@TommySmythESPN @meezy_j @TommySmythESPN Tommy… it’s almost the 10 year anniversary of you blocking me during the 2014 World Cup … what do you say … we have a few drinks and get into a fight during a euro knockout game.. 1 last ride.. u old bastard 😉 cmon what do you say?Surely you still got it in ya

@meezy_J I am surprised that you are suvh an idiot. You know I had Germany winning. Good bye BLOCKED for been an IDIOT

Pregaming the massage parlor

My dad’s roommates dog just bit me

Im once again having the “half acre isn’t a sketchy place” conversation If it’s a sketchy place . You’re a sketchy person . I’ve been hundreds of times and I always had a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ experience 10/10 time. Good crowd. Good music. Cold beer

My mom is trying to ground me for drinking lean 🫠😤😩 Bitch I’m 30! 😩🤷🏻‍♂️🏃‍♂️💨😗

Interests: the fair, the mall, the pool, the library, the grocery store 🤷🏻‍♂️😎

Holy shit 😭😭😭 people are trying to have weddings with less than $100k 😭 good fucking luck 😭😭😭😭

I say id do anything to be rich and famous but then I see a video of Sam Altman and I’m like “thank god I’m not weird looking”

“Bulldog got charged with extortion???”

@PlanetFitness “feel free to look it up” and you were wrong. Sounds like you need AI customer service agents for social media. I have a feeling AI would’ve caught this.

@PlanetFitness Hey PF, did you ever apologize over this? Basically instead of saying you were wrong and apologizing… you fixed it on the website and ghosted me No wonder people keep canceling you guys. Another black card member cancelling his membership because the staff treats me poorly

*at @PlanetFitness* I’m sorry sir but I queued Tove Lo stay high and the app accepted it. I don’t care if you close at 9. I’m hearing this song doing burnouts Hey planet fitness... while you’re here..What does 24/5 mean to you? To me it means you close at 12 AM and not 9 pm

@JRSPECS_ Honestly need this because I’ve been hating screens lately 😭😭😭

all i do is look at screens bro. before work making the animated scenes, screens. all day at work, screens. after work, screens. i am going to drop a diss track on screens

I need the weather at my wedding to be muggy

My biggest trauma in life is seeing the fridges of obese people

@s4m31p4n Definitely on the weirder side of brags

Congratulating people for being sober is like congratulating people for breathing