Mary S

@saniyafatma1278 Happy Gotcha Day!

One year ago yesterday, I found Nella abandoned and scared. Dropped off in a crate with no food or water in the hot sun for 2 days outside a vet that was closed all weekend. When I walked up to investigate, she looked up at me and cried. I scooped her up, brought her home and she’s been with us ever since. She immediately became a member of our family. Happy “Found You” day Nella Bella Smella Nutella! We ❤️ you!

@AndrewHilaryUS They have that. They're called manufactured homes.

They should invent home ownership for people who don’t care about the value of their asset but just want to live in a house.

@schiz04renic Fucking engagement farming...but if you're not listening to @Profgampo , are you even living?

name a rapper without the letter "e" YOU CAN'T

@lady_valor_07 Yes.

if someone tells you, "you're weird," what would you reply with ??

@schiz04renic If you don't do that, you're a psychopath. No discussion.

Does anyone else talk to animals like they are going to respond?

@RandyGoat I swept out postal trucks starting at age 5. I applied Armor All to dash boards and visors too. Small trucks were 10¢, big trucks were 25¢, Armor All was an extra 10¢ per truck. My dad owned a company that contracted with post offices to clean and pressure wash their fleets.

I was 13 when I got my first job doing new construction landscaping. I don't understand 30 year olds that have never had a job. How old were you when you got your first job?

@reallouiehuey Or?!

Donald Trump is either retarded, comprimised or a liar.

@kevin_nealon Your deadpan was particularly memorable during the "Cork Soaker" sketch.

I never broke character on SNL. I knew how much time the writers put into those scripts. You don’t want to be the one who throws it off. Lorne doesn’t like when the cast breaks. Even if the audience laughs, it doesn't work for the sketch. If I could get through the Chippendales sketch, I could get through anything.

@EastTNMama That's pretty good! We used to pay about $700 for ¼ grass-fed, grass-finished cow from a ranch in TN. In PA, where we live now, it's closer to $875.

So, my grass fed half cow ended up being 250 pounds of meat for around $6.40 a pound. What do you think?

@KnightClawk Admire my 20-year-old body, open my Roth IRA, and buckle up—there's a whole lotta shit about to come my way for the next 24 years.

Buy a house with my lunch money

@nickimoraa Male gynecologists are fine. Gynecology and obstetrics have fascinating surgical procedures, and some doctors love to be there to support women during the most vulnerable times in their lives. My favorite gynecologist ever was male. He took care of me for 10 years. Why this mad?

I will never understand men that decide to be gynecologists. Why did you, as a man, feel like you are qualified to be an expert on women’s health and influence women’s health choices?

@boomerlynne Clearly Binks never even got one breakfast, she's telling on you right now 🙄

binks would like to conduct a poll: should she receive a third breakfast, yes or no 🤔🤔🤔

@lady_valor_07 "Ted" and I'm not joking. It's funny as fuck!

What do you guys have? No woke stuff.

@ronsterd89 Me 🤣

Tell me something in your home that is completely worn out.

@ick_real I hate it when I go to visit the sushi glory hole, but it's a dick...again.

Can you forgive a partner who accidentally cheats on you?

@MalikAlyza Oh, my deepest condolences. That happened to our fifteen-year-old baby Blackjack in November 2024. We thought it was a cold; it was exactly what your baby had. Our hearts were shattered when we had to let him go in the office that day. All my love to you and yours!

My sweet girl went for a routine vet procedure and didn’t come home.. I am shattered and I can’t stop crying. Yesterday my husband took our two cats to the vet for blood work for my cat Idris so she could come in for a teeth cleaning and my other cat Pinecone just needed some vaccines. I was at home with out daughter and the visit was taking a long time. He text me and told me that she was super distressed (like she often is at the vet, especially with bloodwork) so they wanted to observe her until she calmed down. Well, she did with a bit of sedation but she still wasn’t breathing properly. They did an xray and found her lungs full of fluid and cancer. They put her down right there while I wasn’t there. She was only 10 and seemed fine. She was my little cuddly stalker, often following me around the house just to see where I was sitting down next. When he came home and I asked where Idris was, he started crying and told me. It still doesn’t feel real. She was sitting on me this time yesterday. I miss her so much and I don’t know how to cope.

@lippyent Yes, in Connecticut, and I was traumatized! That gym teacher was a fucking psycho!!

I know I'm from rural Ohio but... Hmm 😒 🤔?¿

@Nooor_Khan021 His name is Frank, and you know it.

We need a rediculous old boy name.??.....

@Matt_Pinner Well...9/11 hit when I was 18, in the shower getting ready for work.

Age yourself by naming a historical event you remember vividly when you were young

@SamRaincock Nah, Gray Kitty is just extremely chill.

@mgc7399 Looks like you have a crime scene there 😹

Someone approves of my decision…..