fake michael_bay
911 posts
fake michael_bay
@michael_bay__
The original imposter. All others are imposter imposters.
Geniusville, America. Katılım Eylül 2008
29 Takip Edilen7.6K Takipçiler
Muslims in Jersey City actually cheering watching this
The Recount@therecount
Just now: Former President Trump’s Atlantic City hotel is demolished. Once a Boardwalk staple, Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino has been closed since 2014.
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Hey Will Smith how are you going to get an Oscar if you're not even IN THE SEQUEL TO INDEPENDENCE DAY.
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@powersurf I'll leave a bigger hole in one of @BoredElonMusk's electric rockets if he doesn't give me back the Segway I lent him back in 01'
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Whoa, sorry guys. Been sitting around in my boxers, drinking Bartles & Jaymes, lighting Black Cats since August. Did Romney win?
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Intern, pour 6 more bottles of 92 Dom Perignon on the Sauna coals. This hangover isn't going to cure itself.
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Whoa, sorry, I had NO idea that pomeranians were that flammable.
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YEAH LET'S GET SOME MARGS AND DO THIS CINCO DE MAYO RIGHT...What? No, cinco means 21st dillweed. Stop arguing and get me a margarita.
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Gaahhhh somebody call my phone I don't know what pocket of these cargo pants it's in.
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I learned an important lesson today: You can deep fry anything but love.
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Just inked a $2mil deal with North Korean Intelligence to direct Kim Jong Un's e-Harmony profile.
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You know, you buy a rhino and THEN you have to pay for all theses shots and a special saddle and uuugh it just adds up.
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INTERN YOU HAVE 7 MINUTES TO FILL THIS HOT TUB WITH GOJI BERRIES AND STRIPPERS. MOVE.
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Just one of those days where I don't even feel like riding my snow leapord around with this cape on holding this trophy any more.
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Just bought a stockpile of slightly expired morning after pills from the Chinese. You can never be too safe.
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Banging a Victoria's Secret model in my tanning bed. #multitasking
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Mmm bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop GAAHHHH THIS IS THE BEST ROLLERBLADING SONG EVER!!
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What do you mean you don't sell Turducken in this 7-Eleven? THIS IS NOT THE AMERICA I WANT TO LIVE IN.
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What, that? Oh, it's just a little move I like to call the SWOOPING DOUCHEBAG.
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