Divya

the only life advice i’m taking is from the bollywood journalist who writes articles like, “top 10 times taimur breathed in my direction” because if he can live with himself after that, then anyone can

i love meditation because it’s literally no thoughts head empty

@NetflixIndia slid into my dms in my dream yesterday so I’m leaving this tweet as a forecast for when they actually do

I just understood the meaning of the title cloudy with a chance of meatballs today. I’ve been out here thinking it was about someone named cloudy who had a chance at getting some meatballs 😭

i luv my mind

if i’m ever reborn as a mosquito i’m gonna spend my entire tiny life biting the shit out of every other mosquito for the sheer hell they put me thru in my human incarnation

funniest thing i’ve said this month

gave my dad a macaron and he said thanks for the biscuit

oh no queen elizabeth is dead. how will she ever watch brahmastra part one now :(

people with siblings are weird. how does it feel knowing that your parents had sex twice

who knew a deadly virus would hit the world and riteish deshmukh would take over everyone’s instagram reels explore page

you had a better chance of closing that sale by just wishing me happy birthday @zomato

I think I’d make a really cool youtuber

because I had tonsils as a kid, my parents would order icecream in front of me and buy me just an empty cone. sorry mom and dad but you’re going to hell

Sometimes I REALLY wanna tell someone that their tattoo looks like it was drawn by a 2 year-old with a sharpie but then I remember that I’m a good person

Tested positive five days ago and l realised how deadly this disease really was when my maggi tasted like paalak

Ghosts love opening doors for no reason so if I ever live in a haunted house, the ghost better make sure it also opens the door when I’m about to enter or leave or I’m gonna beat its useless ass

gonna go on shark tank and pitch my million dollar business idea which is to ban upgrad

with the number of social issue movies ayushmann khurrana has made, I’m starting to think he has no interest in an oscar. mf is shooting for the nobel prize

My dad asked me for the microwave password yesterday and shot me a look as if I was genuinely hiding it from him. WHERE ARE MY REAL PARENTS