Middle Age Riot

Trump University. Trump Casino. Trump Steaks. Trump Water. Trump Wine. Trump Vodka. Trump Airlines. Trump Mortgage. Trump Magazine. Trump Entertainment. Trump Foundation. Nothing could be more on-brand than the Trump War being an expensive failure.

If you can’t stop talking about your cognitive test, you need a cognitive test.

BELOW: Trump pantomimes a three-way with Putin and Netanyahu.

ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S TRUMP QUIZ 1. Pedophile 2. Pedophile 3. Pedophile 4. Pedophile 5. Child rapist

BELOW: In response to plummeting poll numbers, Donald Trump orders another assassination attempt from Temu.

"Goddamn it, if only I had built a ballroom."

I miss the good old days when I didn't know Charlie Kirk was married.

BELOW: Six good reasons why Supreme Court justices should not be appointed for life.

"86" is an American slang term meaning to get rid of, discard, or cancel someone or something. Not murder. So, 86 the fuck out of 47.

If you built a hundred fuck you factories that made fuck you 24 hours a day you still wouldn't have enough fuck you for this goon.

BELOW: Secret Service agents protect Donald Trump from violence he incited.

You know what's more secure than a big new ballroom? Prison.

Next time, if you want to fool anybody other than your idiot supporters, move the clouds.

Donald Trump: "Iran is something that was essentially over in two or three days." Also Donald Trump: "We estimated it would take approximately four to six weeks and we're way ahead of schedule." Also also Donald Trump: "Don't rush me. We were in Vietnam for 18 years."

It turns out Donald Trump doesn't need a pandemic to wreck the economy.

FACT: The male loneliness epidemic is directly linked to the MAGA douchebag outbreak.

According to the Republican Party, there are two types of elections in the United States: fair elections they win, and rigged elections they lose.

The man most responsible for the health and well-being of the American people breathes like an asthmatic cow giving birth to a Buick LeSabre.

Republicans: "It's not fair! When we gerrymander, it's to make us win. When Democrats gerrymander, it's to make us lose."

Q: What do Megyn Kelly, Tucker Carlson, Candace Owens, Alex Jones, and Marjorie Taylor Greene all have in common? A: They have all turned against Donald Trump for reasons other than him raping children.