Mike Marcus 🏴🇪🇺

Are these the same people who kept saying “we won, get over it”?

If you had to choose between only lemons existing and not limes, or only limes existing and not lemons, which would you choose?

@Jobjohn Do they have steel toecaps?

@mikemarcus Not a clue... but the wife has weightlifting shoes, not a clue how they help!

Does anyone do squats and want to critique my form? I’ve just started and it feels a bit wobbly.

Hilarious. I tweet in genuine jest about raspberry blowing in the House of Commons. And now this!

Has anyone noticed how each successive Tory prime minister lowers the bar even further? I’m guessing when the next one’s elected they’re simply going to stand on a podium, blow a raspberry, and immediately resign.

Hey @Conservatives. Can I run for your leadership election please? I did half a politics degree at Bristol Poly and I have good understanding of economics. Do I apply to you or directly to the hedge funds?

@terrihyphenann @GiveMeSpace3 @peakbean I know them well. I lived round the corner for years

@GiveMeSpace3 @mikemarcus Highly recommend @peakbean if you Google you can see website 👍🏼🐝

Can anyone recommend a decent speciality coffee roaster? I’ve tended to use @hasbean, @AncoatsCoffeeCo, @squaremile until now. Anyone else of that standard?

@GiveMeSpace3 Hang on... Are you Sarah?

@GiveMeSpace3 I’ve actually been to see them plenty of times. I used to live in Mew Mills

How’s Britain’s new economic era going @KwasiKwarteng?

When exactly do we get to roll out the guillotines? I mean, how much worse can things get?

@BeejPr I’m going to vote for the purple tellytubby. Not sure what their name is.

No! Fucking! Way! I’ve just been banned from @Tinder for being polyamorous!

@MrPhilipOldham @JuiceOfficialUK @belkin Sure. It’s clean and I’ve found this to be the case with multiple phones.

@mikemarcus @JuiceOfficialUK @belkin Are you sure your charging port isn’t stuffed with fluff? I buy the £0.99 specials off eBay and they last forever. If they do stop a swill around for detritus with a pin in the port usually restores order.

Does anyone know of any iPhone cable that won’t break? The only ones that work are from Apple and they’re overpriced; the 2m cable costs £35!! I had 2 cables from @JuiceOfficialUK, both worked for a couple of weeks, same with @belkin.

OK. I’ve actually created a decent cocktail with Malibu! 15ml lemon juice 15ml simple syrup 15ml Malibu 40ml bourbon Stirred over ice and served with a lemon twist. Try it. It’s like a bramble but with different ingredients.

And yes. I am accusing the Windsors of being closet Nazis. I’ll probably be arrested now like all the other people who exercised their right to protest.

Now seems like an opportune time to point out that during the appeasement, the royal family (including the queen herself) didn’t hesitate to roll out the nazi salute. youtu.be/wL5sOKP5Aqw