ravens

@hadid_aldire Most of what we’re afraid of are things we made up. And the few that are real are things we are smart and flexible enough to deal with. If your imagination is strong enough to imagine that your world’s on fire, it’s strong enough to invent a bear with snowballs to help you out.

@richardsiken Thank you sir. This time I'll do better

@milkshake_909 > Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe it's an age thing. Find someone you like who likes you back and get to know each other, do activities together. You interact with words on a screen and a far away body. It isn't real.

@richardsiken 1 Sir, I'm the same person who convinced his girlfriend 14 times to stay, and needed help with the breakup. She messaged today that she loved me, and it was all fine, but then I saw her getting a bit too comfortable with her male friends. I was a bit disappointed..>

@richardsiken Thank you for your words sir. Just one last doubt , what should I say if she returns again like she did today ? This relationship isn't going anywhere and I need to end this desire for her

@milkshake_909 > You don't celebrate her. I don't think you know what she wants or how she wants to be treated. You talk her into things and you shouldn't have to. She doesn't run to you when she feels bad, she runs away. That's not love. You want her. That's desire, not love. It's hunger.

@richardsiken I think I have a lot more clarity about decision making, now. Thank you Sir. About the relationship, I ask you politely, what makes you say that I don't love her ? I think I did all I could to make this relationship last, and that's because I love her. I wanted this to work.

@milkshake_909 > Most of life is about not knowing what comes next. Very few decisions will ruin you. Don't drive drunk. Don't punch people in the face. The rest evens out over time.

@richardsiken So do you mean that we learn about decision making by the trial and error method, the most important thing is the courage to make a decision, learn from its outcome and try to make better decisions next time ?

@milkshake_909 1) Everyone has doubts. Decisions are scary. The rest of us just pick something and go with it. No one ever knows what's best. Not others, not ourselves. 2) You don't love her, you desire her. You don't like how each other acts or thinks. You don't respect each other's choices. >

@richardsiken My first big question is, I run to you with my doubts. How do I grow in a way that I reach a stage where I can convince myself with what I want to do and stand by it ? I'm fickle-minded/indecisive. 2. I love her. What should i do, Sir?

@milkshake_909 We're getting sloppy. Reply to this tweet and then wait until I respond. Don't respond to yourself while I'm typing. What is your current question?

@richardsiken What should I do sir ?

@milkshake_909 Are you guys fucking? I have no idea what you're doing. I don't understand your relationship or the terms you're using. Sounds like you're doing a lot of talking and have a lot of rules and expectations but you aren't actually doing anything.

@richardsiken Her reason for most breakups, as she states is that she thinks Ill leave her, while she loves me a lot. I've told her that whatever your problem is, talk with me first. I'll always listen to you and I'll reassure you as many times as you need. But she breaks up everytime.

@milkshake_909 If you don't "go out" then how can you break up? What do you call it? Dating? Are you having sex? Are you holding hands?

@richardsiken We mostly chat, but whenever we can, I go to see her. She comes out to her balcony and we see each other. We once sneaked out of our houses to meet where she kissed me on my cheeks by herself, and we held hands back then.

@richardsiken Sir we don't go out. We're still studying to get into medical colleges and can't meet due to family restrictions. And secondly, what maybe some reasons that I turned out this way, and how do I learn another way ? Practice journalling, or something ?

@milkshake_909 1) We are how we are because we learned it. You can learn another way. 2) Sounds like she likes breaking up more than going out. Maybe the likes the drama.

3 Why can't I make any decisions for myself? I constantly find myself running to you or others for help or advice. At some point I'll have to stop doing this and make decisions for myself. Why am I like this sir ?

2 and I told her that you can do whatever you want. I think I was disappointed because I don't talk to many girls so that she doesn't get uncomfortable and i expected the same. She broke up with me for that again. What should I do sir ? Also...>

@richardsiken Thank you sir. You're kind

@milkshake_909 People have feelings. This is not how you're going to live, this is how you're going to live today. There's nothing that contacting her will achieve. Pain happens. You can't avoid it but you can practice being graceful while you're going through it.

@richardsiken i saw her father today. All the memories of us hit me like a truck and I haven't been able to stop crying for 3 hours. I've been trying my best not to contact her, but my chest hurts. I don't want to live like this. I loved her. I miss her so much. I loved her a lot

@richardsiken Thank you sir. I needed to hear the truth. I took some psychological tests online, they say I wasn't toxic, but what you pointed out makes sense too. I will work around what you said. Thank you again for taking some time out for me, and I'll honour your effort by becoming better.

@milkshake_909 > She doesn't want it. You're forcing her to avoid you or fight. If you make her fight, you'll be in some serious trouble. 7) You're not a bad person but you're behaving badly. You're obsessed. A step forward will make you a predator. A step backward is the only path to healing.

because of how she made me feel. I have sleepless nights whenever she blocked me. Today i cycled through heavy rain to convince her to unblock me and talk it out, and shey told me to stay away from her, not to ever reach out...that I made her life irksome...

@richardsiken Yes sir

@milkshake_909 Do you want the truth in a clear and simple way that might hurt?

Hearing from the person who I loved the most in the world, that I'm toxic, was not on my bingo card. She doesn't know how many nights I've cried because she broke up with me. I've been on therapy for 2 years because of her. I've been put on anxiety pills and anti-depressants,...

@richardsiken Good evening Sir, I hope you're doing well. I'm 18, and today, my first love broke up with me. I've loved her since 6 years, been in a relationship for 2 years. She broke up with me 14 times in these two years. I convinced her everytime to stay...

I stayed even when I was hurt. I was always open to listening to her, but she always chose breaking up. Today, she told me her life was miserable ever since I entered her life, and that I'm toxic. I'm broken sir. How should I take it ?