Mily

*any and all restaurants* here is a $10 pasta. Would you like to add a protein for $8? *throws on two shrimp* bone-apple-teeth!

As January inches closer, I’m thinking about starting a Go Fund Me to raise reward money for whoever can hack The Department of Educations systems and delete college debt documents before I have to start making payments again. Details to follow.

@iamclaraspencer The fact that Verizon replied is better than most anything in life

hey verizon, can i put my number out of service? like temporarily? that’d just be really helpful for me and would probably scare the shit out of my friends

@dude_yikes OH MY GOD

can’t stop thinking about storms den salad wraps :/

Why is the new “hustle” to sell home-made earring? First I missed the beach body hype, monat, only fans, and now earrings?? WHEN WILL I BE HIP WITH THE TIMES?!

*I say as I return from a Mexican vacation and had 4 covid tests. I’m a garbage human, I’ve already come to terms with it!

Why do people feel the need to share their multiple negative covid results online? Nobody fucking cares. The fact that you need to get tested constantly due to exposure means you’re probably an absolute garbage human. Stay the fuck home.

Curious - at what age does dying brown hair “red” transition from angsty to tacky. Or has it always been tacky and just 20% of the mean girls I know from college didn’t get the memo because THEY. KEEP. FUCKING. DOING. IT.

@itsdan_yell Oh babes, he blocked me after one, seemingly graciously worded, reply. Which was upsetting because I accepted a job offer two days later and couldn’t tell him 😞

Just had a man, who I was not speaking to, tell me that it’s “Gods will” I can’t find a job in my field during the pandemic. “It’s his way of telling you that your only job should be having children for your husband and raising a family for him.”

So in other news - today I finally understood how it feels to want to voluntarily tie yourself to a bomb.

How do I effectively tell every single person I went to high school with that social media isn’t a news platform?

@itsdan_yell Retweet

@itsdan_yell Noted for the future. Danielle does not like that.

@dude_yikes @iamclaraspencer I wanna

@iamclaraspencer can’t wait to do this together sometime

y’ever listen to the paper kites and cry about the people u love or am i really high on progesterone

@dude_yikes This made me physically nauseous. But I would rather eat my own vomit than be a woman in his circle. #EatShitTom

what are we mad about today ??? that the owner of a tech company feels comfortable enough to post something like this on linkedin in the response to the dropout rate of women in tech !!! eat shit tom !!!

@Harry_Styles @onedirection

@itsdan_yell @humorandanimals HAHAHAHAHA! Just you wait. Next slumber party this is how you’ll wake up.

A true testament of republican democracy as of late; every political figure I follow on social media is reminding the public to apply for health insurance today aside from the orange clown (and comoany) who is still crying over “voter fraud.”

Starting to feel like my current claim to fame might be a rendition of “A Little Bit Alexis” from Schitts Creek. Watch out internet