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Mirah
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On the day of Arafah, I pray over my womb, I ask Allah for ease in my cycles, protection from cysts, cancer and cervical illnesses. I ask Allah for healthy fertility, safe pregnancies, smooth deliveries and righteous children who will become a source of peace and happiness. Aamin❤️
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I am healed now so I will share this.. I’ll try to make this as brief as possible and I’m sharing this publicly for the first time in 20 years.
It started after my junior secondary school Waec. I told my mum I wanted to visit my dad in Badagry because I missed him badly.
My mum was uncomfortable with the idea because my dad already had another wife then and she didn’t really trust the step mum, but I kept insisting till I became sick from crying.
Eventually, she took me to badagry and before leaving, I still remember her telling my dad:
“Mo fẹ́ máa bá ọmọ mi sọ̀rọ̀ every day.”
(I want to be speaking with my child every day.) That was the agreement before she left.
My stepmum had 3 sons and the youngest was around 4 years old. He became my favourite immediately ❤️
I became their big sister and in my head, we were one big happy family.
There was this woman living in another flat who constantly brought food for us every Sunday after church. Jollof rice with Chicken to be precise
She was a pastor and owned the church we all attended.
The strange thing was that my dad hated both the woman and the church. Every Sunday, I’d hear him arguing with my stepmum about us eating her food and attending the church, but somehow she always found a way around him.
Slowly, I stopped speaking to my mum because every time I asked my dad to let me call her, he ignored me.
Eventually, I got used to the silence.
Now, here’s where things started getting really strange… 😔
I noticed that most people in that church were physically challenged. Almost everybody there had one issue or the other. And here are the strange things going on there, Sometimes during service, the pastor would suddenly scream:
“There’s a snake at the back of the church!” And truly, people would run there and claim to see a massive snake
Every Sunday came with fear.
The pastor would announce things like:
“God has delivered another family from witchcraft.”
“A child responsible for the family’s problems has died.”
Children kept dying in that church and somehow everybody celebrated it like victory because before they die, they would always confess that they were behind their family problems so of course, the family were always happy that their source of problems is gone even tho the problem still remain but one pattern I noticed in that church was this:
Before “confessed” there was always already a problem in the family 😔
Then one Sunday during service, a girl named Victoria suddenly started screaming:
“Please don’t k*ll me! I’ll confess!” 😭
The entire church became silent… but surprisingly, nobody looked shocked because apparently, things like that happened often there 😔
Meanwhile, it was my first time witnessing something terrifying..
I still remember the pastor questioning her:
“Why did you blind your mother?”
I honestly can’t remember everything Victoria said but I clearly remember one thing… Victoria told the pastor that she will open her mum’s eyes then she moved close to her mum, touched her face and sand started pouring out from the woman’s eyes.
You might not believe this but I swear on my life those things happened.
The pastor ordered the ushers to take Victoria to the “deliverance room.”
That room was a tiny dark room with chains, blindfolds and one chair.
Victoria was tied there, beaten, starved and tortured for 7 days all in the name of “deliverance”
The next Sunday, they announced she had died.
And the scary part?
Her parents were happy because they believed “the witch tormenting the family” was finally gone. Meanwhile, her mother was still blind.
As a child, something inside me knew none of it was right 😔
I started having nightmares constantly of dying but I had nobody to tell because I still couldn’t speak to my mum.
Then one day, my dad came back from work looking unusually sad 😔
Apparently, he had lost his job.
The whole house became heavy and quiet because everyone knew things were about to get difficult.
The pastor then declared that
Ugegbe ✨@MarinatedTurks
What or who almost killed you?
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I just wanted to tell y’all that I saw 3 beautiful women this morning and I complimented every single one of them..
One had a low cut, dark skin, petite and absolutely beautiful
Another was white skin, had braids on and was gorjus ❤️
And the last lady…
Petite , British and effortlessly stunning in her long natural hair
Women are honestly so beautiful 😍
Good morning my mutuals and thank you for always engaging with my tweets ❤️
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So I have this friend that we both relocated from Nigeria together
Crazy friendship, crazy bond.
When we first arrived in the UK, he was extremely loyal to his girlfriend back in Nigeria…
Maybe because school fees never complete then sha
Immediately this man finished paying his school fees, he met one lady on Hinge… the girl invited him over for weekend.. enjoyment wanted to injure him, he was literally living his best life
He was sending me updates, pictures and gist.
They dated for like 5 months if not more, him and the lady almost kill themselves with sex..
One day, I jokingly asked:
“So what’s up with this lady? You go date am seriously?”
This werey said:
“God forbid
Date who? I can’t date somebody like that oh besides, Where I wan put my babe?”
Me: Your babe? And you dey bang somebody babe like that? 😏😏
Fast forward to last year, his actual girlfriend finally joined him in the UK. He told me not to say rubbish oh, I said no worries.. I gat you bruh.. for the culture 🫶🫶
The day she arrived, I went to visit them and while we were gisting..
I said:
“Haaa, ola was very loyal oh
I made sure he didn’t flirt with anybody…”
Before I could finish the sentence, the girl cut me off immediately and said:
“Don’t worry, stop covering for him, I know about Cynthia.”
Omo.
I looked at my friend’s face
This idiot carried face like nothing happened.
I don’t even know how I managed to leave their house that day because I looked so stupid 🤦♀️..
I never forgive the Ediot till now
Deisine@TDeisine
Abeg who get gist? Even if na my matter, tell me😭
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Which of you sent this story to my friend? 😩😩
Our conversation few minutes ago:
Her:
“TJ sent me one suspicious tweet… I hope it’s not about Ahwal?”
Me:
“Rárá oh 🌚
Ahwal ke? Someone that was dancing to aunty Racheal’s voice..
Where’s the tweet sef because I’m not even on Twitter 🤷♀️”
Her:
“O sure?”
Me:
“💯 but babes watching Koto Aye is not bad nah 🌚”
Her:
“If you born your own, let him watch Igbo Irunmole or Eran Iya Osogbo 😒”
Me:
“Haba
What did we carry and what did we throw?
Has it gotten to this level?”
Her:
🙄🙄
“Anyways, are you at home? I want to quickly come drop Ahwal with you.”
Me:
“Nope 😒
Take him to Aunty Racheal.”
Her:
“Werey 😂😂”
Me:
“I no even dey house tbh.”
Her:
“Before nko, like say you get choice 😒”
Me:
“Na me carry belle for you? Smh 🤦♀️
Going back to work, bring him over after work..TTYL
Anyways, I’m babysitting after work again🌚🌚, which movie are we watching today? 🤔🤔
Ifeoluwa@olajumokeokenla
My friend brought her baby to my place this morning so she could quickly run an errand.. Her: “Babes, he likes Baby Shark or CoComelon.” Me: “Okay, no problem 😊” Meanwhile, the child has been enjoying Koto Aye movie since Baby Shark ke? Make he first understand say life hard small 🌚
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@Aheesha_x Oh no 😂🤭Just imagine how aesthetics it will look without the bucket and bowl though…
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Three years after moving into an apartment with a shower, i still struggle to actually use it. It’s not that I don’t know how, I just can’t seem to get used to it.
I still prefer bathing with a bowl and bucket 🥴That remains my default way of bathing. The only time I consistently use the shower is when I’m doing ghusul (ritual bath). Outside that, it’s me and my bucket.
The shower is basically decorative in my bathroom 😂
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@olajumokeokenla Yes Justifiable…
But tell him how you felt about the whole thing.
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Guys, do you think my anger is justifiable?
So I have this really good friend of mine, we’ve been friends for like 6 years now and we literally tell each other everything going on in our lives.
His visa was about to expire and his first application got rejected, so he started another route which he had as planned B. I already had experience with this particular visa type before.
I told him not to waste money paying lawyers for consultation because I already knew the process, the right documents to submit and all..
We kick started the whole gathering of documents and where he could get some of the documents…. we practically gather all documents together for the application.
I told him everything he needed, where to get some documents, what to avoid, everything. Sometimes he would even call me late at night and I’d still pick.
Mind you, I was dealing with my own personal issues too but I still kept giving him updates and heads up because that’s my friend
Then suddenly, I stopped hearing from him, I only see his whatsapp status and TikTok videos…
Few weeks later, I messaged to ask if he was alright and that was when he casually told me:
“My visa is out.”
I just replied:
“Okay 👍”
Now this is why I’m angry.
I genuinely felt like I should have been among the first people he told, not because I want praise or anything, but because we literally did the whole process together even when some of the times wasn’t even convenient for me but I was rooting for him like he was my blood brother..
In fact I don’t think any lawyer would have that so much time to guide him the way I did throughout that application.
Do you guys think my anger is justified? Because I’m genuinely upset to the point that I deleted his contact 😔
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Woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly remembered when I was learning German on Duolingo because of my then German boyfriend, now ex.
This man told me to learn Germany because I would be joining him in germany not knowing he told 5 other girls same same .
Ọmọ́ ale
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One of the videos I made with my mum during the two weeks I spent with her 😂😂
Btw, who won the dance battle? 😭
Ifeoluwa@olajumokeokenla
It’s funny how I didn’t tell anybody when I started my relocation process 😔 Not even my family. I actually waited until my visa came out before I finally told them. I just called my mum one day and told her: “I’ll be coming to spend two weeks with you soon.” 😂 She was so surprised. Deep down, I internationally kept it to myself because I was scared of having to explain myself if it didn’t work.
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If you are relocating to Canada 🇨🇦 from Nigeria 🇳🇬 and don’t know which city to pick, let me save you the research.
🇨🇦 Toronto = 🇳🇬 Lagos. Same hustle. Same traffic on Don Valley Parkway. You didn’t relocate, you just changed currency.
🇨🇦 Ottawa = 🇳🇬 Abuja. Government jobs. Quiet life. People leave work at 5pm. Still can’t believe that’s legal.
🇨🇦 Vancouver = 🇳🇬 Port Harcourt. Beautiful. By the water. Everything is expensive and nobody is sorry about it.
🇨🇦 Calgary = 🇳🇬 Warri. Oil and gas. Tough people. No time for packaging. What you see is what you get.
🇨🇦 Brampton = 🇳🇬 Festac/Surulere. Every Nigerian knows someone there. The jollof, the churches, the hair salons. You will think you never left.
🇨🇦 Winnipeg = 🇳🇬 Kaduna. Overlooked. Affordable. Getting better quietly. Nobody talks about it enough.
🇨🇦 Montreal = 🇳🇬 Ibadan. Old soul. Rich culture. Speaks a different language and is very proud of that. You will adapt or struggle.
🇨🇦 Edmonton = 🇳🇬 Enugu. Solid. Underestimated. People work hard and say nothing about it.
Which one did I get right and which one did I miss? 👇
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@allskinpebbles I think is because they want things done in mostly their ways..Fast and smart🤭
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My brother called me at work. Middle of the day. Which he never does. His voice was strange. Tight. He said I need you to come to Mom’s house. I didn’t ask why. Just said I’m on my way. Drove like I was scared of what I’d find. When I got there she was in the kitchen making tea like it was any other day. My brother was sitting at the table looking like he was holding something very carefully. I sat down and Mom said your brother has something to tell you. My brother looked at her then at me.
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I’ll host my birthday party in Lagos in September and some of you will be invited.
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In the spirit of oversharing🙈🙈🙈
We were already trying and my menstruation had stopped for like 4 months. We went to his brother’s house for the weekend and that day I noticed thick mucus. I was like… “wait, is this not ovulation?”
I asked my SIL if she had ovulation strips and she said yes. I tested and the line was THICK.
I just marched to where my husband was and said “let’s go.”
He said, “go where?”
I said, “I’m ovulating.”
This man said, “can’t it wait till we get home tomorrow?”
I said absolutely not…. I’m not taking any chances.
I literally started chasing him around the house until he agreed.
Positive pregnancy test 3 weeks later 😭
Teefah Hassan@teefahlaygos
Random but mummy’s on the TL, do you know the one you did that got you pregnant?🌚 is it weird that i know the exact one?🫠
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@Taiwo_junzi your wife proudly posts skimpy pictures online for the world to see.
What type of whore should we call her netizens?
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