Parody David Miscabbage
4.1K posts
Parody David Miscabbage
@miscabbaged
All Satire: #Scientology "Super Powers" are real, I've been using them for years to hide my wife Shelly. Follow me for more relationship tips.
Roomates with Tom Cruise Katılım Eylül 2022
970 Takip Edilen1.4K Takipçiler
JUST IN: The Church of Scientology has called for arrests of the perpetrators for "hate crimes" — claims raids to find Tom Cruise or Xenu are "not a game"
Polymarket@Polymarket
NEW: A group of more than a dozen dwarfs has reportedly raided the Church of Scientology.
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@CassandraRules On behalf of myself & Tom Cruise, we applaud you using the correct term little People.
Thank you.
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A group of little people did a scientology run
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@Polymarket Tom Cruise & myself highly object to the term dwarf. We prefer the term little people.
Get it right.
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NEW: A group of more than a dozen dwarfs has reportedly raided the Church of Scientology.
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Reporting live from the minions attempting a Scientology speed run
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I think a person should always spread it around.
A few weeks ago I was at the mall and found a wad of cash that amounted to 500 bucks. As I was exiting the mall, waiting for uber, I came across a young mother and baby. The mom was crying and telling whoever she was on the phone with she had lost her cash. I peeled off a 20.00 and gave it to her. Whenever I’m blessed, I always spread it around.
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@LasVegasLocally So if you won $1 billion on the power ball you’d tip the gas station cashier $20 million?
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If you hit a $10 million slot jackpot in Vegas you should tip the people who provided good service and made the trip fun — cocktail servers, hotel staff, slot attendants, floor staff, dealers if you played tables.
Anything between $30,000 and $300K, spread around, is fine.
Vital Vegas@VitalVegas
Follow-up: informed older couple from Iowa tipped zero for a $10 million jackpot, not even the $4 left on the machine after the jackpot. Cashed it out and took it with them. Do better, humans.
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NEW: Hollywood Scientology buildings have reportedly chained doors shut from the inside to stop the viral teen speedruns.
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As an introvert, whenever I took a new position at a company I would text all of my work colleagues and ask to borrow a small amount of money, which I truly do not need
Within weeks this pleasantly evolved into my coworkers completely avoiding me, no invites to off time company functions & events, softball leagues, bowling teams etc.
Follow me for more life hacks.
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It seems to me that “Journalists” are all running off the WWE playbook.
👀
Megyn Kelly@megynkelly
You’re so fucking stupid and dishonest, it’s amazing anyone listens to you. Honestly - get help.
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@NUCLRGOLF Smart move @KingJames. Don’t want to end up like Chubbs
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🚨⛹🏿♂️🐊 #WATCH — An alligator snuck up on LeBron James as he attempted to get his golf ball after it went into the hazard.
Should he have played the ball or did he make the right call picking it up?
(Via: Stevestoute/IG)
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@newstart_2024 Gary Breka is a wanna be MD & total quack. Flash in the pan scamologist
He partnered with 10X (Grant Cardone) and all the other propagandists from Scientology & then got his ass handed to him. Lay with dogs & you wake up with fleas
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Why does it seem like attractive women always have stomach problems?
Gary Brecka drops the connection:
“Every woman that has stomach problems suffers from anxiety. They come from the same place.”
He cites that 44% of women have the MTHFR gene mutation — impairing folic acid conversion — leading to consistent gut issues and anxiety.
In his clinic (150,000+ patients):
“I have never seen a woman that suffers from anxiety who did not also have gut issues.”
Clip from this 37-second insight — tying chronic digestive problems, anxiety, and a common genetic variant together.
Does this gut-anxiety-MTHFR link match what you’ve seen in real life?
Or do you think it’s correlation being overstated?
Your thoughts — drop them below 👇
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@GovPritzker Sorry for your loss. P.S. Go fuck yourself you fat pig. You stupid ass liberals, hiding behind your desks, encouraged these idiots to go out get killed. So take your manufactured misinformation outrage and shove it up your cow sized asshole
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Greg Bovino won’t just get to walk away — he will be held accountable and responsible for the damage he's done to our nation.
We won’t forget, and neither should you.
No one is above the law.
FactPost@factpostnews
Disgraced Border Patrol Chief Greg Bovino will retire at the end of the month. Two U.S. citizens were killed by federal agents under his watch.
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@GavinNewsom @DeniseMcCaffer1 What do you say about being called a Cuck.
Genuinely curious.
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To every kid with a learning disability: don’t let anyone — not even the President of the United States — bully you.
Dyslexia isn’t a weakness.
It’s your strength.
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@GavinNewsom Says the guy that let Harvey Weinstein have a turn with his wife.
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Good riddance. You ruined lives. Spread fear. And spewed hatred.
If you’re remembered, it will be as the smallest man who ever lived.
Camilo Montoya-Galvez@camiloreports
Outspoken Border Patrol official Gregory Bovino is retiring at the end of this month, sources tell CBS News. Earlier in the Trump administration, Bovino was deployed to major cities across the U.S., to oversee sweeping and often controversial immigration raids.
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My wife despises Long John Silvers
I eat it in the car like a rabid dog whenever I can find it.
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@TonyOrtega94 @cultinfo_sects He’s never coming back is he?
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L. Ronald Hubbard was born 115 years ago today. According to #Scientology, in 1986 he left his body to pursue 'researches' elsewhere. Wherever you are, Commodore, we mark your 115th with a look at stunning admissions you made in front of a live audience! tonyortega.substack.com/p/for-l-ron-hu…
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@TopeDada17 If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, you always baffle them with bullshit
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