mary

saying summer is over on august 25 is an indicator of a quitter’s mindset and indoctrination by big halloween

that prenup is about to be longer than any book travis kelce has ever read

I’m scared of Labubus.

Not everything needs to be a skort 🥀

The most critical part of having a functional office is having one colleague who loves making banana bread.

Farm Rio is for us Lisa Franks girls.

Chicago pope to introduce Italy to Italian Beef

new pope from Chicago !?

y’all are worried about the wrong stocks

Field Day was so intense back in our day... Shit felt like the playoffs.

Will things ever be fergalicious again

you want me to do pilates? the thing that killed jesus?

hello sharks i am asking for a normal fucking day

Shamrock shakes for my real friends. Real rock shakes for my sham friends

they gave her a platform and she came prepared with the stats i’m crying

Pickles are great..until you're in one.

I'm currently buying eggs off the streets and marijuana in stores.

when it’s warm enough to go outside without a jacket

The feisty bitch in me honors the feisty bitch in you

I am really not built to let things slide.