Andy moat

Just started a new business making boats in my loft, sails are going through the roof.@ShitJokes

🚨💣 Sandro Tonali has told Newcastle United he is open to leaving if Manchester United submit an offer — and wants the club to accept it. The Italian midfielder is keen to avoid any situation like Alexander Isak’s, stressing he doesn’t want tension or a damaged relationship with the Magpies. He is seeking a respectful exit. 👀

@NUFCBlogcouk Beardsley, any other answer is the wrong answer.

🍻 PUB DEBATE ⚫️⚪️ You can have any former Newcastle player (other than Alan Shearer!) back in this Newcastle United team in their prime. Who are you picking and why? 🤔 #NUFC

🚨 Alexander Isak on returning to the Liverpool squad after 4 months out and Sweden qualifying for the World Cup: “When I broke my leg against Spurs in December, I read all the comments. People said the £125M fee was a waste, that my first season at Anfield was cursed, and that my World Cup dream was over. I just stayed quiet and worked. On Tuesday, I watched Viktor [Gyökeres] score that 88th-minute winner against Poland from my living room with tears in my eyes. Now Sweden is going to America, and my rehabilitation is officially over. To the Liverpool fans who supported me during the darkest four months of my career, thank you. To everyone who wrote me off — I am back. We have PSG next week, and I have four months of pure frustration to take out on the pitch. The talking is over.”

🚨 Bruno Guimaraes is likely to join Manchester United if Michael Carrick remains as manager. (Source: Football Insider)

Tazo has nowt on dj john #BritainsGotTalent

@ColeFusionHQ Bloke I work with is called coleslaw because hes 80% cabbage

British nicknames are an unregulated industry. a 5'6 tradesman called Anthony is professionally known as Shetland Tony. a man who lost an eye is called Keth. a quiet man wore a yellow jumper once and became Mumblebee. what's the best nickname you've ever heard

@lilsketch Lobster

gun pointed at yo head, name a rock

@FabrizioRomano Piss off ye shit stirring prick.

🚨🇧🇷 No release clause is included into Bruno Guimarães deal at Newcastle for this summer. £100m clause expired in June 2024, no longer valid. Any deal would take a negotiation with #NUFC amid links of recent days. 🎥➕ youtu.be/Phpg3Xo3328

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING: Bruno Guimaraes has handed IN TRANSFER REQUEST to move to Manutd. Matheus Cunha convinced him to join, Casemiro also advised him to join Manutd after he leaves. #MUFC

@Wes_safc86 @joegray1892 Errands, full of shit wes, were nearly as bad as sunderland

@joegray1892 @moaty25 Glad I watched as well

Gifted them 3 goals, at least we made ours, refs a cunt.

@Wes_safc86 Liarbetes

@Wes_safc86 Knew you'd be watching

That's a penalty and a red card

Refs on the take here.

2 cheats out of the champions league, karma.

@SensibleSAFC I'd like to see that racist slag with her dad Bernard manning.

What’s everyone’s bets for the incredibly nuanced display of Geordie wit they have planned for their little display next week then? ‘WAV SEEN THINGS YOOL NIVA SEE!!!’ and an image of Europe or them winning the same amount of trophies we have in the last 53 years? Something about an airport? Something about a hot dog sausage in a burger bun? A magpie stealing some blue pop and cheesy chips from a visibly shaken black cat? Or will they just have a massive Saudi flag with the names of everyone who signed the petition begging the government to push the takeover through transposed into it? #SAFC

@TonyMor92866404 😂

@moaty25 Took him 5mins to escape the chelsea huddle

Where the fuck has he found 8 mins from the baldy helmet #nufc

@Wes_safc86 😂

@moaty25 What my lass says when I stick a good shift in

🚨 Lewis Hall on links to Manchester United: “Some United fans say I remind them of a young Luke Shaw. That’s a big compliment. Maybe I should give him a call and ask when he plans to retire so I can take his place. (laughs)”