madddy

so many people told me “Maddy, there’s now way you can be Darth Maul for Halloween, you’re too hot and sexy to be a scary alien man” Well this is me proving them wrong. Hot girls can be darth maul too. Suck my big red dick patriarchy!!!!

ついでのチュー💋をいただきました😆 #王子動物園 #ムム

if you did an X-ray of me, my intestines would look like a fuckinng balloon dog

thought I was having a stroke

What’s the big worm’s name? Tony Shalhoub?

“Sir, a second Rice to Riches location has just opened”

honestly you DO NOT want to know

rumor has it that Baby Gronk saw Wonka and said it was good

telling people Liza Minelli doesn’t have a Kennedy Center Honors yet 💔

the place I feel the most at peace is in the mushroom aisle at Monterey Market in Berkeley 😌🧘‍♀️

to be honest, reading Elena Ferrante on acid was a dumb idea in the first place

Toucan lamp pales in comparison to the Chicken Lamp I found on eBay

Hosting a bike ride in LES soon! Come ride around with me. 🚲

I feel like if you put this woman under a black light, her skin would glow

this game really prepared me for stomping out all these spotted lantern flies

this Barbie wears white pants to the dog park

Monkeys 🐒 🐒 🐒 in Nepal

when do Those Blue Men get to retire

it wild that this NY Post cover has a part in the origin story of how my boyfriend and I started dating