Morgan Gallo

Deleting Twitter. Follow me on threads!

I joined Threads and now this app feels like Walmart

This whole Diet Coke thing to me is worse than the bozos in the submarine

@frank_morten Thank you so much!!

@morgangcomedy I really love the pod Downloaded plenty episodes before i went to work at sea😊

My podcast is all about arguing, which is the biggest reason why people engage with social media - to share their opinion on something they disagree with. The incels in the comment section of the pod have no idea they’re doing exactly what I want them to 😈

People that work at the DMV get off on making people miserable

I hate people that pay to be verified but I have so many pages pretending to be me that now I’m gonna have to do it. Fuckers

I love when men call me fat in my comment section. Like what a cute way to tell me you subscribe to my only fans 😂

Sometimes I think I want kids then I see one in public and I’m like nah

Moving out of Florida was the best decision I made for both my mental health and my comedy career

I knew I had big boobs as a kid when I tried on one of my Dads XL t shirts and it fit perfectly. That’s also the day I learned my dad wears a 34DD

If they made tankinis for adults I’d be all over that shit

Making a return to Florida this August with three shows! August 3rd I’ll be headlining @HighDiveGville with my funniest friends in Gainesville, FL. If you’re in the area I’d love to see you! Get your tix: wl.seetickets.us/event/Morgan-G…

Everyday is leg day when you’re constantly squatting over public toilet seats

I’m not plus size, but I’m not skinny…so what word do I use for “I have to tighten my toilet seat every five days”?

I have a lot of anxiety

@greenlantern025 @themorganjay Dates with the stars next to them.

@morgangcomedy @themorganjay I hope you let us know which shows you will be performing.

Going on tour this fall with @themorganjay ! Can’t wait to feature for him for select dates across the galaxy 👽

Did my first comedy taping last night at the legendary Comedy Works in Denver. I have so many more announcements to make in the next few months…I can’t believe this is my life

Upcoming shows: morgangallocomedy.com/upcoming-shows