Morgan O'Shea

Quarantine would be pretty dope if you didn’t have to spend it with your family. #Quarantine

A guy who smokes meth told me he can’t drink rum because it makes him crazy. #Mexico

I don’t buy phone cases because I lose phones before I break them. #investing

@mikecarrozza Remember Harper? Shit’s been here for awhile. Hatred sucks, but I’d rather have them marching than plotting in their parent’s basement.

@morganstandup Trump flag dude. It’s right there. It’s done enough damage. The persistent attitude that they know better than to accept mask mandates, they’ve selfishly operated and support a white supremacy by touting that name is dangerous. Anybody who supports that shit I don’t want happy.

A child doesn’t scare me, but CHILDREN?... Fucking terrifying.

Last time I tweeted @Raptors were NBA champs. Anyone know how they doing now?

Been over a year since I tweeted last. Anything interesting happen?

@thejaydevine finally started following me because I haven't tweeted since July. Said he's a big fan of my recent work.

I wish adults liked me as much as children and dogs do.

Possibly the most entertaining 30 minutes of football I've ever seen. #WomensWorldCup2019

Even Bing's logo is depressing.

Don't hear a lot about home school shooters.

One thing I learned using the porta potty at F1 is that rich people's shit really doesn't stink. #F1 #montrealgrandprix

Is it wrong to put Bailey's in cereal?

It's no surprise I don't know how to spell finenacial.

#LifeHacks for kids that go to hip hop shows: if you can't afford a $1 tip, you can't afford a $12 Hennessy.

Well that was brutal. I could've done a set if I wanted to experience a bomb. #raptors #nba #torontoraptors #standup

@Giannis_An34 isn't looking for a GM position anytime soon. #NBAAllStarDraft #NBAonTNT

@KingJames is on his @Lakers recruiting game with these #NBAAllStarDraft picks. #NBAonTNT #NBATradeDeadline