Moss 🪴

impulsively drank and now i need to sober up before my bf gets here lmao

does anyone else have a pacemaker? i just really feel alone in my life

guess i'm fighting with my dad again. this person is a stranger im disgusted i share dna with him

"i'm awful, im unlovable, if i was you I would hate me. i was a terrible child, and I deserve all the bad that has happened and will happen to me. etc." so we will see how he responds.

he'll text me "no one in my life loves me. everyone just hates me. ETC." He sends paragraphs !!! so I just started doing the same

my dad won't listen to logic so I'm just gonna start doing to him what he does to me

The last few times I ve fainted were obviously because of my heart but I also hadn't really eaten much, if anything ... so now that I have my pacemaker I shouldn't faint even if I restrict

@puppystarves That makes a lot of sense. I listen to a lot of advice and heed a lot of warnings but it really doesn't feel real til you're there ! Like who knew having a lw would give me more conditions and worsen the ones I already have ! fafo i guess

@mossunrated and at the same time for me 2024 was the year i dropped to my lowest adult weight and prob lowest emotional bottom since getting sober lol. like u can hear things & technically know them but until u experience them none of it really feels real ig, idk if u relate to that

need distraction from my life edtwt heres ur idol now in exchange tell me something interesting or about u or w/e 🥴

@puppystarves suffering from success ... I'm sorry it didn't work though, that was probably very frustrating. Mine appears to be doing its job 🤷‍♂️

@mossunrated and the recovery was HELL it wasn't supposed to be tho....but when i spoke to my dr he was like "its bc ur so skinny, for normal ppl the implant is deeper within the subcutaneous fat layer, but u have almost no fat, ur so skinny, that's why u have sm pain" i was like "wow,omg,dr"

started medication again so i'm feeling social again... time to come back and be a menace

@skinnyfelony no literally !! like that's just some dude ... I've met people with voices that should fill a venue and they're just people.

@puppystarves I'm a little in shock. I've never fainted before my adult life but I've also never restricted as hard in my life than when I was 22 and older. I'm worried I've caused this and I can't tell anyone because then they'll know I have an 3D

@mossunrated but damn, how r u feeling about that like emotionally process wise? my DMs r always open if u need to vent

@puppystarves I'm curious on how a pacemaker helps with urinary retention but that's really interesting! I'm sorry it wasn't successful but I'm glad they tried something to help. How was the recovery?

@mossunrated sort of twins except mines in my ass 🥴🥴🥴 n i had it done ugh idr like 6 mo ago or something??? (it was supposed to help w/ my urinary retention so i had to str8 catheter less- sexy ik - but sadly wasn't v successful surgery after all 🥲)

Who wants to see a picture of the incision site from my pacemaker surgery ???? I'll post it in the comments and I'll flag it so i don't flash someone hehe

i'm actually getting a pacemaker put in

i think im going to have to commit to full recovery. i fainted again and now im in the hospital AGAIN

@pjjmoonchild I squeeze in my ribs too when I suck in + it helps with posture

does sucking in really flare your ribs bcs if this is actually true i’m cooked

my boyfriend is actually a sweetheart. i literally suffer from delusions and also lie to home a lot about my mental health and then complain about it. i'm just venting in the moment but truth be told he's such a great guy. he helps so much