jake

if I send this to u it means not only am I celebrating ur downfall, I orchestrated it

why dont you guys try reading 4 20 minutes

I-

yalls obsession w celebrity sex lives is so weird and invasive

Let’s just cuddle and if it slips in, it slips in.

confession: sometimes I write “thanks so much; looking forward to it!” and I am not really looking forward to it. the exclamation point is simply a beard for my deep existential sadness

Me going to the job I prayed for.

babe what’s wrong? You haven’t touched my morning wood

god i can see your feet 🫣 avocado!?! 🫨

Can the men throw the tea in the harbor again or something im tired of paying taxes

I already know ima have them forehead wrinkles when I get older because I be PERPLEXED.

no hoes no roster just a peaceful life

Dolly I'm actually working 8-5, please help.

born to be in a healthy relationship…forced to love Hispanic men

born to be in a healthy relationship — forced to love white men