Patches

23.4K posts

Patches banner
Patches

Patches

@mostly_cheese

Massachusetts, USA Katılım Ağustos 2017
2.3K Takip Edilen4.2K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
Patches
Patches@mostly_cheese·
Instead of “sorry for the delay,” write “thank you for your patience.” In lieu of “apologies for the oversight,” write “if you’re so perfect why don’t you fucken do it.”
English
64
17K
91.6K
0
Patches retweetledi
Patches
Patches@mostly_cheese·
[restaurant in Mexico] Wife: What’s good here? Me: Bueno.
English
21
843
2.6K
0
Patches
Patches@mostly_cheese·
STOP using THESE FIVE WORDS in your RESUMÉ: fuck, shit, piss, ass, balls
English
0
0
5
104
Patches retweetledi
Patches
Patches@mostly_cheese·
ME: shouldn't i, the one who has accumulated all the debt, be known as the debt collector? DEBT COLLECTOR: *muffled whispering* ME: DEBT COLLECTOR: i'll call you back
English
7
208
955
0
Patches retweetledi
Patches
Patches@mostly_cheese·
I got locked out of my house after having dinner at an Italian restaurant. I had gnocchi.
English
16
315
827
0
Patches retweetledi
Joshua Claybourn
Joshua Claybourn@JoshuaClaybourn·
I’m always surprised that this Jimmy Carter anecdote gets overlooked.
Joshua Claybourn tweet media
English
195
2.4K
42.8K
2.3M
Patches retweetledi
Velvet Milkman
Velvet Milkman@velvetmilkman0·
A Dominican baseball player
English
318
5.2K
113.3K
6.1M
Patches retweetledi
Wendigoon
Wendigoon@Wendigoon8·
Wendigoon tweet media
ZXX
606
4.6K
110.2K
6M
Patches retweetledi
Adam
Adam@AdameMedia·
Who’s gonna tell her?
Adam tweet media
English
563
5K
62.8K
8.2M
Patches retweetledi
ChihuahuaEnjoyer420
ChihuahuaEnjoyer420@tweetsandboobs·
Go to the 00:46 mark
English
592
6.3K
184.1K
7.3M
Patches retweetledi
moesha
moesha@yunclesage·
I will never be a cocomelon parent you gone sit here n watch the wire season 4
English
353
12.2K
104.1K
3.3M
Patches retweetledi
Greta
Greta@GretaGrace20·
It's always about bathrooms.
Greta tweet mediaGreta tweet media
English
4.4K
21.1K
283.6K
12M